Dave: Yeah.... My luck doesn't swing that way.
Dave: If there were 5,000 tickets sold, and I bought 4,999 the person that bought that 1 stinkin' ticket would be the winner.
Miklos: hahaha
Dave: That wasn't a joke.
Miklos: That makes it even funnier.

Curt: have u seen the video of me and dave?
Beth: no, what is it?
Curt: the transmission of moving pictures or animation to a monitor or television, but that's not important right now

dave: when am i going to learn to exist in this world?
dave: i was obviously NOT made for this world

miklos: so i put on a tie on monday, right?
miklos: and i'm like... wtf the back of this is too short to go through the little loop
miklos: so the back end of it was just hanging there
miklos: i decided to get one of my dad's tie clips to hold them together
miklos: the first thing was yelling into my sister's room "google 'tie clip proper position'..."
miklos: "two thirds of the way down"
miklos: "ok thanks"
miklos: .. i ended up not even wearing the clip
miklos: moral of the story: please don't take away google.
dave: that's nuts
dave: i don't know how people lived before google
dave: jenna and i bought rainbow trout, and didn't realize that we didn't know how to cook it until we got it home....
dave: again, google saved us
miklos: see... if it weren't for google, I'd have looked like a slob that day, and you'd probably have died of hunger.

dave: szervusz mikrobe bacsi. hogy vagy?
miklos: egy kicsit megfáztam... fáj a torkom.
dave: nem jo
miklos: torkom = my throat
dave: i thought that was stomach
dave: all I know is that faj is hurt and that is nem jo
miklos: torok = throat
miklos: not to be confused with török = turkish (person)
dave: only in hungarian does 4 dots seperate a throat and an entire civilization

Dave: nothing but "Play Again" from good old Tim Hortons [roll up the rim to win]
Dave: you know what they should do? if you collect 10 "Play Again"s you get a free coffee or donut
Miklos: that'd be awesome
Dave: that actually would be a smart marketing move
Miklos: you're a genius
Dave: and call the slogan "it pays to lose"

Dave: i just had a crazy nose bleed
Dave: still holding a kleenex to my nose
Miklos: were you picking at it?
Dave: no, i was just sittging here
Dave: sitting
Miklos: weird
Dave: and i felt you
Dave: you = it
Miklos: hahah
Miklos: freudian slip?

dave: i'm going to call up oxford or websters and tell them that I have an addition to the definition of spontaneous..... YOU

Dave: You know what pisses me off?
Miklos: What's that
Dave: how on god's green earth do "older" men consistently miss the urinal??? honestly, how do you miss a urinal? you practically stick yourself right in there! but somehow people still piss all over the floor and all over the wall... it is disgusting... why am I pissed off??? because of 3 main reasons. 1. it looks like shit 2. it smells even worse, and 3. I have to make sure that my laces and pant legs aren't remotely close to touching the ground. *end of rant*

[Miklos throws a punch in the air and makes some stupid noises]
Miklos: Did you see that?
Miklos: That was a side-cut, not to be confused with an upper-cut.
Dave: You mean a "hook"?

Miklos: I can't believe you called me bull-headed.
Dave: I called you bull-headed AND dumb
Dave: Come to think of it, I called you bull-headed twice this week.
Dave: You should be happy, I don't call many people bull-headed.
Dave: No, actually, just you.

... about a year and a half ago
Alex: Where's the 9??? (Frantically confused while handling a phone)
Miklos: Go back to your cubicle, where things make sense...
... now, about a year and a half later
Alex (randomly): I hate passlock
Miklos (randomly): where's the 9?
Alex: above the 6
Miklos: apparently you still don't know
Dave: set a reminder in outlook to try again (next year)

Dave: Want a piece of my dental gum?
Dave: It tastes good and also whitens your teeth.
Miklos: Sure, if it'll help get this cashew out.
Dave: Maybe, but if it does anything, it'll turn the cashew white.
Miklos: We're not eating PAINT!

Dave: You are on Miklos' quotes page
Jenna: Really, about what?
Dave: Yeah, the conversation we had about your blind turtle.
*Dave reads the quote to Jenna, and starts to laugh*
Jenna: It really isn't funny, would you still laugh if I said I had to put Emerald down?
Dave: You did?
Jenna: Not quite... I told you how we got rid of them
Dave: How?
Jenna: We sold them at a garage sale.
*Dave with more laughter*
Jenna: I'm glad that I can provide entertainment for you.

Dave: my little story takes place at a tropical villa
Dave: i fell in love with a flavour, yes it was vanilla
Dave: miiiiiiinnnnnnnniiiiiiiiii wheats wheats wheats i wanted vanilla for so long
Dave: mini wheats wheats, wheats, it's high in fiber you can't go wrong
Dave: vanilla flavour mixed with wheat put it together it can't be beat
Dave: vanilla flavour mixed with wheat tastes so good, what a treat
Dave: new vanilla mini wheats cereal!!!
Dave: tastes so good good good!
Dave: good advertisement like that actually works
Miklos: are you saying it does work?
Dave: yeah, definitely, do you want mini wheats after reading my jingle
Dave: ?
Miklos: as a matter of fact, yes.

Tom: Hey Dave, You'll never guess what I'm doing this weekend.
Dave: What?
Tom: Well, I'm going to our CIO's Barbeque!
Dave: You have got to be shitting me.
Tom: No, I'm serious, I JUST found out that my wife works with his wife and that is how I got invited.
Dave: Sounds like you finally got a shot at management.
Tom: Yep, I'm going to cook him up a hot dog and maybe he'll be like "wow this guy has potential."
Dave: The only way that a person in his position will see potential in someone for a management would be if you completely screwed up. My advise is to burn the shit out of the hot dog and hand it to him... actually, you said CIO right?
Tom: heh, yeah.
Dave: Then you would get farther handing him a piece of cut up garden hose and calling that a hot dog! Now, that is management material.

Dave: It drives me nuts how these so called adults (people over 30) are all into facebook and talk about it like little teenie-boppers. "I added you to my favourites".... facebook is actually a virtual frat club.
Miklos: everyone and their brother is on facebook
Dave: I'm not, are you?
Miklos: no

miklos: man, on the way home from the island i took the 407
miklos: and i got the bill for it today
miklos: $17.28 ... $11.38 - toll charges, $3.55 - video toll charge, $2.35 - account fee
miklos: first off
miklos: I didn't ask them to take a video photo of me
miklos: secondly, i didn't ask them to put me in their stupid database
dave: that is bs
miklos: for 67km of highway use
miklos: i accept charges for using the highway
miklos: but the technology they use to track me to send me my bill should be free of charge, and not come out of my pocket ...
dave: i'm surprised that it didn't say.... 59cents for the stamp... 25 cents for the envelope... 10 cents for the paper and 5 cents for the ink... and a folding/licking fee
dave: hehe this is like a bad mastercard commercial
dave: and being ripped off for using a provincial highway that originally took tax dollars to build: priceless
dave: there's some things money can't buy.... for everything else...

miklos: I JUST SAW SOMETHING NEAT
miklos: 5 jets in the sky
miklos: spelling out
miklos: GREAT RATES - GEICO.COM
miklos: i got some pics, one sec...
miklos: haha man that was neat. it got the entire department looking, and i almost fell out of the window from the 4th floor trying to take a picture
miklos: i sent it to the tribune
dave: keep it up
dave: you might get a job
miklos: dave your sarcasm cuts deep
miklos: scars me for life
dave: that wasn't sarcasm... I was referring to risking your life for a picture... i guess you have a social esteem issue

Dave: jesus!
Dave: that is stupid
Dave: stupid crazy
Miklos: This world is hilarious
Dave: I don't know if you have taken a step forward or a step backward... mainly because the world is stupid... everywhere you go, everywhere you look there is idiots, even in commercials (the manufacturers aim towards lower IQ individuals) because they are the majority. I used to find it hilarious, now it irritates me like a plague...
Miklos: idiocracy
Dave: exactly
Dave: it is true though... just watch the commercials
Dave: and you know what the really bad part is?
Miklos: i don't watch tv
Miklos: what's that
Dave: canada is actually above average
Dave: which means, other countries are like the cats in the clip you just sent me
Miklos: nah man you're just growing up
Dave: yeah we have... when will everyone else?