*Alex falls asleep reading something on Jessica's phone* Jessica: Can I have my phone back if you're gonna fall asleep? Alex: Yeah, just pull the cord. *Jessica pulls the cord and it gets stuck* Alex: Ahh! That's my face!
Alex: Justin Trudeau: you may think he's shifty but everything he says is "True-deau." Jessica: Where do you come up with this stuff? Alex: Out of my own head. Alex: Do you use Pillbury when you bake? Jessica: No.. Alex: Because that's the only true dough.
[While talking about the Saved By The Bell reunion on The Tonight Show] Alex: Of course they couldn't get Screech in there because he's in jail Alex: Oh wait, apparently he's bailed out Curtis: Saved by the bail