Alex: Everyone seems to be driving like an idiot today and it's just torture. Jessica: To be fair, the speed limit is 40 here. Alex: I don't care about speed limits. I care about MY limits.
*Alex falls asleep reading something on Jessica's phone* Jessica: Can I have my phone back if you're gonna fall asleep? Alex: Yeah, just pull the cord. *Jessica pulls the cord and it gets stuck* Alex: Ahh! That's my face!
Alex: Justin Trudeau: you may think he's shifty but everything he says is "True-deau." Jessica: Where do you come up with this stuff? Alex: Out of my own head. Alex: Do you use Pillbury when you bake? Jessica: No.. Alex: Because that's the only true dough.
[Jessica puts her arm around Alex, just after he rolled over in his sleep] Alex: [complaining] Mm Mm Jessica: What? Alex: Mm Mm Jessica: What's wrong? Alex: You asked me if I ever jousted. Jessica: Haha. Are you on drugs? Alex: I guess you didn't.
Alex: I got injured today. Alex: I got hit in the head. You know, with that elastic rope thing you use to tie things down on the truck. Jessica: Bungee cord. Alex: *laughs* Yeah that one. Alex: Maybe me getting hit in the head messed up my vision.
Jessica: My foot itches. Alex: Welcome to my world. Jessica: Why? Your foot itches? Alex: Constantly. Jessica: It does? Alex: Well...not right now. Jessica: That makes no sense. Alex: It doesn't in a logical sense, but in a physiological sense...
Jessica: I had a nightmare. Alex: :( Jessica: I was preparing Bruce Willis for his funeral and he came back to life. And that's creepy no matter how much he obviously wasn't dead in the first place. Alex: I guess he didn't die hard enough.