Dave: You know what pisses me off?
Miklos: What's that
Dave: how on god's green earth do "older" men consistently miss the urinal??? honestly, how do you miss a urinal? you practically stick yourself right in there! but somehow people still piss all over the floor and all over the wall... it is disgusting... why am I pissed off??? because of 3 main reasons. 1. it looks like shit 2. it smells even worse, and 3. I have to make sure that my laces and pant legs aren't remotely close to touching the ground. *end of rant*

[Miklos throws a punch in the air and makes some stupid noises]
Miklos: Did you see that?
Miklos: That was a side-cut, not to be confused with an upper-cut.
Dave: You mean a "hook"?

Miklos: I can't believe you called me bull-headed.
Dave: I called you bull-headed AND dumb
Dave: Come to think of it, I called you bull-headed twice this week.
Dave: You should be happy, I don't call many people bull-headed.
Dave: No, actually, just you.

... about a year and a half ago
Alex: Where's the 9??? (Frantically confused while handling a phone)
Miklos: Go back to your cubicle, where things make sense...
... now, about a year and a half later
Alex (randomly): I hate passlock
Miklos (randomly): where's the 9?
Alex: above the 6
Miklos: apparently you still don't know
Dave: set a reminder in outlook to try again (next year)

Dave: Want a piece of my dental gum?
Dave: It tastes good and also whitens your teeth.
Miklos: Sure, if it'll help get this cashew out.
Dave: Maybe, but if it does anything, it'll turn the cashew white.
Miklos: We're not eating PAINT!

Tim Riley: your php work inspires me!
Tim Riley: I will be doing php in my new job
miklos: haha
miklos: YOURs inspired ME
Tim Riley: it's a cycle!!
miklos: yep
miklos: it's a try/catch 22

miklos: teletubbies
Peter: that's good
Peter: bbc's best program
miklos: "agaaaaiiiinnnn"
Peter: hm?
miklos: isn't that what they always say?
Peter: i don't know
miklos: doesn't matter
Peter: i've only seen it once
Peter: when a vacuum cleaner chased one of them around
Peter: and for me that was enough to not want to watch it anymore...

Alex: man the most amazing thing happened to me last night
Alex: the lighning crashed down like RIGHT BESIDE me
Miklos: right on
Alex: man not right on
Alex: this was like.. amazing
Alex: i felt like i was in that movie powder
Alex: white balding guy, playing with lightning

Miklos: I got gas this morning...
Jeff (backing away): Ah geez!
Miklos: NO! For my car! Anyway... it overflowed!

miklos: you should order 2 sets of dumbbells - 2 x 60 and 2 x 70
baxo: umm
baxo: maybe when i have a job
miklos: there ya go
miklos: cherish that optimism, sanyi

Orbit1: if you'd apply yourself you'd probably have vast deep knowledge of some important topic like say... physics OR you might speak like 12 languages
Orbit1: but instead you know how to build gimmicky web junk
Orbit1: i applaud you sir
Orbit1: /golfclap
miklos: up yours

(Miklos fighting marketing devil that was presenting the new all-in-one iMac on Apple's site)
Miklos: Wow.. I want one.. *pause* Man.. I'm stupid. I gotta close this site down. I don't want nothing.
(Miklos: 1, Devil: 2940385)

Miklos: AFTER washing dishes!
Alex: who's to say that's not already done?
Miklos: me
Alex: damn you good

Dave: You are on Miklos' quotes page
Jenna: Really, about what?
Dave: Yeah, the conversation we had about your blind turtle.
*Dave reads the quote to Jenna, and starts to laugh*
Jenna: It really isn't funny, would you still laugh if I said I had to put Emerald down?
Dave: You did?
Jenna: Not quite... I told you how we got rid of them
Dave: How?
Jenna: We sold them at a garage sale.
*Dave with more laughter*
Jenna: I'm glad that I can provide entertainment for you.

(Side note: accounting printer, water cooler and entrance to washrooms are all within about 5 feet of each other.)
Miklos: Check out what I found by the accounting printer
Matt: A pen?
Miklos: Yeah, it's nice.. Try it..
Matt: I don't want to.
Some time passes, I'd say about 10-15 minutes... Matt goes to the washroom, and after coming back:
Matt: Where did you find that pen?
Miklos: By the accounting printer.. why?
Matt: What were you doing there?
Miklos: I don't know.. oh! Refilling my water bottle. .. Hrm.. where IS my water bottle?
(Matt laughing)
Miklos: Shit! I left it there. Man, I didn't even use the washroom.
Matt: So you just went to get bottle refilled, got distracted by something shiny, put the bottle down on the cooler, forgot about it and came back?
Miklos: Yeah and I guess I just kept working...

Dave: my little story takes place at a tropical villa
Dave: i fell in love with a flavour, yes it was vanilla
Dave: miiiiiiinnnnnnnniiiiiiiiii wheats wheats wheats i wanted vanilla for so long
Dave: mini wheats wheats, wheats, it's high in fiber you can't go wrong
Dave: vanilla flavour mixed with wheat put it together it can't be beat
Dave: vanilla flavour mixed with wheat tastes so good, what a treat
Dave: new vanilla mini wheats cereal!!!
Dave: tastes so good good good!
Dave: good advertisement like that actually works
Miklos: are you saying it does work?
Dave: yeah, definitely, do you want mini wheats after reading my jingle
Dave: ?
Miklos: as a matter of fact, yes.

Miklos: Hi, I picked up the iMac this morning, the one that was having the power issues?
Mac Outpost: Yep...
Miklos: Well now I noticed that when I eject the CD, it doesn't let it out gently, it spits it out entirely...
Mac Outpost: Yeah that's the problem with those things... sometimes they're too powerful.
Miklos: So.. what can I do then?
Mac Outpost: I dunno... Catch it?

Peter: And you know what I'm going to make with your flash?
Miklos: Pictures?
Peter: A career.

miklos: what about all the permalinks out there that linked to orbit dailyphotos?
Orbit1: they won't work
Orbit1: thankfully
miklos: haha
Orbit1: yeah i got some emails recently asking me where they could find a bunch of stupid crap
miklos: are you mad at the world?
Orbit1: 'i was told to come to this site for blah blah blah, do you know how i can reach this info blah blah?'
Orbit1: no just foreign weirdos that are trying to find out how to make long exposures or homemade lenses
Orbit1: dude i used to have like 5-10 stupid emails a day asking me questions i've already answered to people
Orbit1: i have a [shitty point and shoot camera], when i go out and take pictures at night they're all grainy and don't turn out how do you keep your shutter open so long
Orbit1: my camera only goes to 30 seconds
Orbit1: how do you create those film borders in photoshop can you send me the action?
Orbit1: how do you make your grain look so real in photoshop?
Orbit1: i tried to use the grain filter but it doesn't look the same
Orbit1: what scanner do you use
Orbit1: how are you scanning your borders with the film
Orbit1: what tripod do you recommend
miklos: so you got annoyed with the world :)
Orbit1: i have an old [insert old 70s 35mm slr here] and i'd like to shoot film, what film is the best?
miklos: i asked you all those questions!
Orbit1: LOL
miklos: except the photoshop action to get film borders
miklos: can you send me them?
Orbit1: you wouldn't believe how many people think i add those in photoshop... i get emails about that a lot
Orbit1: people are stupid
Orbit1: i don't even respond

Dave: It drives me nuts how these so called adults (people over 30) are all into facebook and talk about it like little teenie-boppers. "I added you to my favourites".... facebook is actually a virtual frat club.
Miklos: everyone and their brother is on facebook
Dave: I'm not, are you?
Miklos: no