John: The brain you are messaging is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep

John: What do you call taking photos while diving?
John: Photoswimthesis

[after Dad agreed to set up a tent in the backyard]
John: Oh man I feel like I just drank 7 coffees I'm so energized.

John: I find it weird when parents name their kids childish names. Like "Starlight" for example. They're going to grow up with that name. What if they become a businessman or businesswoman and they'll be like "Starlight K. Osborne" or whatever. It's so weird.

John: When they say, 'the average person', are they just following around the most normal person for his whole life and watching what he does? "This is the most normal person we can find, and now we're going to see what happens to him and write about it for his whole life".

[Jan 5, 2023]
John: I had a dream that was so complicated it would take me 2 hours to explain it, so I'm not even going to.

John: Never close the door to someone else's life; only open the window to your own future.

[out of the blue]
John: Dad, if you were crazy, would you make yourself the only symmetrical thing in the world?

[At Sushi Paradise while eating]
John: I like this Noir Jazz they're playing.

John: Want a million dollars for ten dollars? Come to Shady's Moolah n More. Think of all the possibilities: pay off your home, donate to charity...

Miklos: Brett and Curtis play this game called Civilization
John: I think everyone plays that

Miklos: [about a notification] It's just your grandma liking something on Instagram
John: Which grandma?
Miklos: Grand Mamó
John: Grandma Moe?!

[overheard conversation after swim class]
Phil: do you know [so and so] from YouTube?
John: No, I don't watch YouTube
Phil: why not???
John: My parents don't let me.
Phil: Bruh.....

John: Wow, so that guy [King Charles] will be on our coins now?

John: You know what I call the outhouse in my head?
Miklos: What?
John: The s-h-badword shop.
Miklos: Ok but do you say s-h-badword in your head or do you actually say the bad word?
John: I say the bad word because who's going to stop me?

John: Hey dad, would you rather eat your own boogers for a week, or someone else’s for a day?
Miki: Umm, neither.
Pircsi: You have to pick one, it’s a would you rather question.
Miki: Ok, then my own for a week.
John: Good. Me too because that’s what I do.

John: How big is Algonquin Park?
Pircsi: It's massive, the part we see is not even a third of it.
John: What, that's crazy.
Pircsi: It's 7,653 square kilometers.
John: Wow! Where are the good restaurants?

[while eating a cheeseburger]
John: See, I knew it was McDonald's cheese you were putting in my lunch sandwiches, Mom.
Nikki: Processed cheese? Yeah.
John: I'm not going to call it processed cheese. It sounds too important. I'm going to call it McDonald's cheese.

John: Dad, wouldn't it be an awesome Sci Fi book, where somebody puts invisible spray on themselves and they touch a mirror and they fall through the mirror because their reflection is blocking them when they're not invisible but it's not blocking them when they are invisible?

Miklos: When I was little [in Hungary] our neighbour came over and I offered her some of my cream of wheat, but then she slowly kept eating it until she finished it all.
John: [patting Miklos' shoulder] That's OK dad, you have bigger problems now.