[Got a new wifi-enabled dryer, notifications popping up on Miklos' phone]
Dryer: Cycle complete.
Dryer: Wrinkle-prevent started.
Dryer: You can remove clothes at any time.
Miklos: Sheesh, give them a voice and they go on blabbering.
John: Dad, do you want to come watch me play Fortnite?
Miklos: Sure, just let me go get these clothes out of the dryer before it blogs about what a neglectful owner I am.
John: Haha, that would be funny! Dryer subreddit…

[30 minutes before dinner]
Miklos: What are you doing with that ice cream?
John: I am going to become friends with it… then I am going to betray it and eat it.

John: [6:45am] Father, you're gonna come into my room and wake me up with your silent breath and leave? Why am I holding a pencil ? Oh wait, my fingers are numb.

[walking into the YMCA family change-room and hearing the showers running with and old and a young voice in the distance]
John: I swear to god if it’s sir nude and noodle again…

John: Ugh. I wish black olives didn't taste so strong. I'm eating a sweet sub, then BAM.. it's right there.
Nikki: You ordered black olives though.
John: Of course I did. You have to. Nothing in life is perfect.
Nikki: So you order black olives so that you don't enjoy the sub *too* much.
John: Mmhmm.
[overhears a guy asking for black olives]
Nikki: That guy knows what's up.

Nikki: Wanna go to Treasure Hunt?
John: The bikes are all folded in half there. Treasure Hunt is like legal dumpster diving

Miklos: Wanna hang your clothes? They’re in the basket.
John: Yeah… no.
Miklos: You should…
John: Yeahhhh, but no.
Miklos: Why not?
John: There’s not a chance of that happening.

[At Melina’s while eating breakfast]
[over the radio] “I want to break free…”
John: I sing this in my head at school every day.

John: Yellow Pillow Inn?? Ew.

John: You know what I just thought of? Santa is just a big elf. He can’t be human if he lives forever. He’s like the president of the elves.
John: Oh!! Elf Presidente!!!

John: Will there be soup?
Miklos: Yes..
John: Will there be SALT?

John: It’s funny what you think PJs are. Pyjamas are different from night-time clothes.

John: Dad can you grab me some milk?
Nikki: You can get yourself some milk John. I think it’s time for you to become more self-sufficient.
John: But I am self-efficient.
Nikki: I said self-sufficient.
John: Yes, and I am being self-efficient because while I go get a book dad gets me some milk; yippee!

John: do you even use the Messages app on your work phone?
Miklos: yeah… Sometimes
Miklos: … during work hours
Miklos: … not very often
John: heh, the answer depletes every time you think about it.

Miklos: If you want to be in the olympics, this is the time to start preparing.
John: Well, I am never going to play any sports.
Miklos: Not with that attitude…
John: Exactly. [sarcastically] Finally, someone who gets me.

John: I wonder how the first form of life on Earth was created.
Nikki: By mistake.

John: I don’t overthink things.
Miklos: No? You under think?
John: No, I just think.

John: When I was four, I had this philosophy that cars driving on the roads would spin the earth around. The cars would be going nowhere and it would be the earth spinning.

John: Dad got me a slingshot.
Nikki: That better not be used on anything that's alive.
John: It won't. Just trees.
Nikki: Trees are alive.
John: All right. Just windows.
Nikki: ..........
John: And if that's not okay, just Dad.
Nikki: He's alive too.
John: No!

John: Dad, can you make a cheesecake today since it's National Cherry Cheesecake Day? ... Dad can we be more aware of lost dogs because it's National Lost Dog Awareness Day?