John: Ugh. I wish black olives didn't taste so strong. I'm eating a sweet sub, then BAM.. it's right there.
Nikki: You ordered black olives though.
John: Of course I did. You have to. Nothing in life is perfect.
Nikki: So you order black olives so that you don't enjoy the sub *too* much.
John: Mmhmm.
[overhears a guy asking for black olives]
Nikki: That guy knows what's up.

Nikki: Wanna go to Treasure Hunt?
John: The bikes are all folded in half there. Treasure Hunt is like legal dumpster diving

Miklos: Wanna hang your clothes? They’re in the basket.
John: Yeah… no.
Miklos: You should…
John: Yeahhhh, but no.
Miklos: Why not?
John: There’s not a chance of that happening.

[At Melina’s while eating breakfast]
[over the radio] “I want to break free…”
John: I sing this in my head at school every day.

John: Yellow Pillow Inn?? Ew.

John: You know what I just thought of? Santa is just a big elf. He can’t be human if he lives forever. He’s like the president of the elves.
John: Oh!! Elf Presidente!!!

John: Will there be soup?
Miklos: Yes..
John: Will there be SALT?

John: It’s funny what you think PJs are. Pyjamas are different from night-time clothes.

John: Dad can you grab me some milk?
Nikki: You can get yourself some milk John. I think it’s time for you to become more self-sufficient.
John: But I am self-efficient.
Nikki: I said self-sufficient.
John: Yes, and I am being self-efficient because while I go get a book dad gets me some milk; yippee!

John: do you even use the Messages app on your work phone?
Miklos: yeah… Sometimes
Miklos: … during work hours
Miklos: … not very often
John: heh, the answer depletes every time you think about it.

Miklos: If you want to be in the olympics, this is the time to start preparing.
John: Well, I am never going to play any sports.
Miklos: Not with that attitude…
John: Exactly. [sarcastically] Finally, someone who gets me.

John: I wonder how the first form of life on Earth was created.
Nikki: By mistake.

John: I don’t overthink things.
Miklos: No? You under think?
John: No, I just think.

John: When I was four, I had this philosophy that cars driving on the roads would spin the earth around. The cars would be going nowhere and it would be the earth spinning.

John: Dad got me a slingshot.
Nikki: That better not be used on anything that's alive.
John: It won't. Just trees.
Nikki: Trees are alive.
John: All right. Just windows.
Nikki: ..........
John: And if that's not okay, just Dad.
Nikki: He's alive too.
John: No!

John: Dad, can you make a cheesecake today since it's National Cherry Cheesecake Day? ... Dad can we be more aware of lost dogs because it's National Lost Dog Awareness Day?

[After buying a little guitar amp]
John: Isn't it nice, your little red guitar didn't have a voice for 20 years, and today we gave it some cough syrup

John: [singing] I found a straw
I opened up my eyes, I found a straw

John: Celebrity Jeopardy is like college basketball to basketball.

Miklos: Do you think if we were listening to something like Joel Plaskett, we'd be driving differently?
John: Yeah
Miklos: So you're saying the type of music we listen to influences our driving? [Listening to dance music]
John: Definitely, given that you're doing 100 in a whiteout.