Displaying results for Johnny, John, Poopyhead.

#866 · Apr 23
John: Dad, can you make a cheesecake today since it's National Cherry Cheesecake Day? ... Dad can we be more aware of lost dogs because it's National Lost Dog Awareness Day?
#865 · Apr 21
[After buying a little guitar amp]
John: Isn't it nice, your little red guitar didn't have a voice for 20 years, and today we gave it some cough syrup
#864 · Apr 21
John: [singing] I found a straw
I opened up my eyes, I found a straw
#862 · Feb 18
John: Celebrity Jeopardy is like college basketball to basketball.
#861 · Jan 19
Miklos: Do you think if we were listening to something like Joel Plaskett, we'd be driving differently?
John: Yeah
Miklos: So you're saying the type of music we listen to influences our driving? [Listening to dance music]
John: Definitely, given that you're doing 100 in a whiteout.
#860 · Jan 19
John: Do you know what my favourite question is at a restaurant? "How do you like your steak?"
#859 · Nov 10, 2023
[Taking money out of an ATM]
John: Ooh! It's warm!
Miklos: Hmmm.. I wonder why it's warm. It's not like it was just made. *smiles* A bit concerning, isn't it?
Miklos: Feels good though!
John: Feeling good makes you concerned?
#857 · Oct 30, 2023
[driving around downtown]
Miklos: ok we still have a few minutes to kill before I have to drop you off at school. Wanna do donuts in the No Frills parking lot?
John: you can't do donuts in a front wheel drive car
Miklos: I'll find a way
John: let's not
[a few minutes later]
Miklos: Okay, I'll just turn around up there and we'll head to school
John: turn around where?
Miklos: I'll turn around a few times... up there in the No Frills parking lot.
John: dad...
#854 · Sep 23, 2023
John: [mimicking the compass] North, East, South, West.. Never Eat Soggy Waffles.
Miklos: [at the same time as John saying "soggy waffles"] Shredded Wheat...
John: What? What is shredded wheat?
Miklos: A cereal brand from the old days. Not as popular now I suppose.
John: Who'd name a cereal "shredded wheat"?
#853 · Jul 22, 2023
Miklos: John, can you turn the light off?
John: Sorry, my answers are limited. You have to ask the right question.
#852 · Jul 18, 2023
John: Dad, I love you. I know when you say something dumb you're just expressing yourself.
#848 · Jul 10, 2023
[finding him huddled into a tree]
Miklos: Whatcha doin'?
John: Surviving on two bars of internet.
#847 · Jul 8, 2023
John: I like Ford Broncos
Nikki: they're great for when you're running from the police
John: [mutters] for murdering your wife
#846 · Jul 1, 2023
John: The brain you are messaging is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep
#844 · Jun 22, 2023
John: What do you call taking photos while diving?
John: Photoswimthesis
#841 · Jun 11, 2023
[after Dad agreed to set up a tent in the backyard]
John: Oh man I feel like I just drank 7 coffees I'm so energized.
#839 · Jun 8, 2023
John: I find it weird when parents name their kids childish names. Like "Starlight" for example. They're going to grow up with that name. What if they become a businessman or businesswoman and they'll be like "Starlight K. Osborne" or whatever. It's so weird.
#838 · Jun 5, 2023
John: When they say, 'the average person', are they just following around the most normal person for his whole life and watching what he does? "This is the most normal person we can find, and now we're going to see what happens to him and write about it for his whole life".
#837 · Jun 5, 2023
[Jan 5, 2023]
John: I had a dream that was so complicated it would take me 2 hours to explain it, so I'm not even going to.
#836 · Jun 5, 2023
John: Never close the door to someone else's life; only open the window to your own future.
158 quotes found for Johnny, John, Poopyhead