Nikki: Tea no good?
miklos: Nah, it's good...
Nikki: Then what are you doing?
miklos: Dumping most of it...
Nikki: Why?
miklos: Not enough honey... (dumping tea down the drain)
Nikki: Haha.. are you serious? Why not just add more?
miklos: oh yeah..

Miklos: I think you're a gaybo ... who uses that word in 2010?
Nikki: Apparently you do.
Miklos: I got so mad at that bald cop [on '24'] yesterday that I called him a 'fag'!

Nikki: You know what you should do? Try the Kelloggs diet.
Miklos: No diets.
Nikki: It's not a diet ...

Miklos: i printed out the military alphabet
Miklos: and posted it on my wall
Miklos: and i plan to learn it and use it
Miklos: i know most of them
Nikki: oh, your actual wall
Miklos: haha yeah
Miklos: real life.
Nikki: they have those now

Nikki: I gotta go to the bathroom. Turn on some music... something in the key of G.
Miklos: Is G minor ok? (Starting to play Adagio http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz4dpbk8YBs)
Nikki: No! That's too depressing.. Try key of D...
Miklos: Nah this is good...

Miklos: Ahh...
Nikki: What?
Miklos: I googled Google.
Nikki: Did the world explode? That's what I always thought would happen.

Miklos: Can we get over this whole farting thing and let'em loose already?
Nikki: You're still afraid of me doing it, aren't you? So you better clam up!

Miklos: Good news is that you get a free $60 bill from me today if you take me to a bank.
Alex: How's that gonna work out?
Miklos: Obviously there's no $60 bill...
Alex: No.. I'm thinking ahead here... $60, that's not divisible by 20.
Miklos: Umm, yes it is.. You're not thinking far enough ahead I guess!
Alex: Well I was thinking the machine will give you a 50 and that's in 20 increments.
Miklos: Umm, no it's not.
Alex: Oh shit, there's no winning here!

Nikki: OH my GOD i woke up with a snake tattoo
miklos: OH MY GOD and I think that my tongue's pierced toO!
Nikki: OH my GOD! OH! my GOD!
miklos: It's the sunday morning after
miklos: and baby who the HELL are you?
miklos: yeah that'd be a rough morning...
Nikki: why the hell are things allowed on the radio
miklos: they're not anymore

Miklos: You know what I need?
Nikki: What?
Miklos: (mumbling, kind of) Serial port on my computer.
[pause]
Nikki: You know what I thought you just said? "Cereal poured on my computer."

Miklos: it's just like Holden Caulfield.
Nikki: ... wait, Holden Caulfield? from Catcher in the Rye? How??
Miklos: you know, how they tried to keep kids from growing up to be adults because adulthood was bad and evil and so they grew up thinking life was a fairy tale
Nikki: that was Peter Pan
Miklos: wow, well then my English teacher was way off the mark
Nikki: I'd say so... unless she was really reaching for a metaphor there, but Holden Caulfield??
[moments later]
Nikki: I still don't get how your ex is like Peter Pan

Miklos: I like this fridge...
Miklos: Hrm... or I could just buy some paint...
Matt: And put ice in it? That's gonna work good...
Miklos: ...and paint my old fridge!
(can't pause for more than a second with Matt)

alex: so tell me if this ever happened to you..
alex: i had to pee.. and it's sometimes natural to fart during a pee but this time i felt like it was gonna be poop. so i was in a dilemma.. i had to keep the pee going so it can finish but the pushing also was causing the poo to come out.. so i had to pinch to stop the pee.. turn around and sit down and do both at the same time.
miklos: nope.

Nikki: lol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serial_Joe
Nikki: i just remembered them
miklos: ahahah oh yeah, skidrow
Nikki: omg they had a platinum album
Nikki: and a gold
Nikki: that's hilarious
Nikki: what gas station do they work at now
miklos: yeah the only place they see bronze silver or gold is on the markings at the pump
Nikki: hahaha
Nikki: his mom was their manager
Nikki: how did they get dropped

[While watching Ricky Chavis talk in an Alex and Derek King documentary (http://jui.cc/7j)]
Miklos: Oh man, do you know who this guy [Ricky Chavis] reminds me of?
Nikki: Woody Harrelson?
Miklos: Yes! ... mixed with umm...
Nikki: Matthew McConaughey??
Miklos: Yes!

Nikki: Man, why is Walmart so cheap?
Miklos: Uh, it's Walmart.

[police got to our house very fast after we made a report about some kid trying to steal the hub caps off our truck]
Miklos: wow they got here fast
Nikki: because there's no danger involved

[Miklos whistles 'Fa-La-La-La-La']
[Nik sings]: "don we now our gay apparel..."
Miklos: ...what does that mean?
Nikki: I guess 'we now don our gay apparel'
[Miklos stares blankly]
Nikki: ...apparel would be 'clothing'

Dave: Yeah.... My luck doesn't swing that way.
Dave: If there were 5,000 tickets sold, and I bought 4,999 the person that bought that 1 stinkin' ticket would be the winner.
Miklos: hahaha
Dave: That wasn't a joke.
Miklos: That makes it even funnier.

[holding a cup of gravy]
Nikki: Be warned, I may drink this gravy.
Miklos: What?! DON'T.
[... does so, smiling defiantly]