Displaying results for Johnny, John.

#771 · Dec 30, 2021
Nikki: Oh what's that? In that tree!
Johnny: they're buds!
Nikki: No, they're fruit! What kind of tree is that?
Miklos: a partridge
Nikki: a partridge is a bird
Miklos: well what's the opposite of that?
Nikki: the opposite of a partridge?? There isn't an opposite of a bird. I think you're thinking of a pear tree.
Miklos: No, what's the tree version of a partridge?
#766 · Nov 28, 2021
Johnny: I just had an enjoyable moment. You wanna know what it was? My burp tasted like meatloaf.
#765 · Nov 8, 2021
[on snacking on Timbits for free while working at Tim Hortons]
Johnny: It was borrowing without asking, forever -- until you dropped it in the loo.
#764 · Nov 6, 2021
Miklos: Holy, that tablet is slow.
Johnny: Yes, but it's ok I've gotten used to being patient.
Mamo: It's because it's full of games. You should delete some of them. And maybe also clear some points or money or whatever.
Miklos: Cache? [Spells it out.]
Mamo: I guess? Whatever? What is that?
Johnny: It's stored things on your device, Mamo.
#762 · Oct 18, 2021
Nikki: Ahh!
Johnny: What?
Nikki: Nothing, nothing. Just saw something disturbing. Finish your story.
Johnny: So that button is where Auntie Pearl's emergency brake is! ...What did you see?
Nikki: Oh! Just roadkill..
Johnny: What kind of roadkill?
Nikki: Oh it was weird... I don't really wanna disturb you too -- ok it was a deer's head. Just the head, nothing else.
Johnny: A deer's head?? Wow. I wonder how it got there.
Nikki: I dunno. Maybe it got hit by a car and the head fell off?
Johnny: [in a British accent] 'e was wearin' a helmet but 'is 'ead come off!'

[ Origin of what he was quoting can be found here: https://youtu.be/vc82cy7ImRY ]
#760 · Oct 11, 2021
Johnny: I totally forgot that we were in this human universe.
#759 · Oct 1, 2021
Nikki: You should be in marketing. You're clever and very funny. You'd make some good commercials.
Johnny: [holding floss tightly and smiling into the mirror with a Transylvanian accent] Buy a finger trap today, on Vampire.ca!
#758 · Oct 1, 2021
Johnny: I'm a pretty smart kid. Like, I know the word "phenomenal". And I use catchphrases like, "what's the 4-1-1?"
#757 · Sep 19, 2021
Johnny: Farts are the opposite of two things: Not farting, and burping. Those are the fart opposites.
#756 · Sep 18, 2021
Pircsi: Who is Papo? Do we love him?
Johnny: Yes. Do you have amnesia?
#754 · Aug 29, 2021
Nikki: Uh what the.... Please tell me this is water.
Johnny: It's water!
Nikki: Do you know that for a fact?
Johnny: You only told me to say that...
#753 · Aug 6, 2021
Johnny: Did you hear that tap on the car roof just now? *imitates the sound*
Nikki: No I didn't. It might have been a bird though.
Johnny: Nah. More like a bird S.H.-bad word.
Nikki: Hahahaha. Why did you choose to say it that way instead of bird poo?
Johnny: Because it's funnier.
#752 · Jul 30, 2021
Nikki: This ice cream is still cold all the way at the bottom.
Johnny: Get used to it, kid. Life is cold. Freezing cold.
#751 · May 27, 2021
[An excerpt from John's virtual school today]
Teacher: Class, if you guys could go back in time, where would you go? You don't have to know the exact time or place, just something you're interested in. Where would you time travel to if you could go anywhere at all? John, let's start with you. Where would you go?
Johnny: 1996. Toonie factory.
#750 · May 21, 2021
Nikki: What are these bumps on your arm?
Johnny: It's not gonna be a problem.
Nikki: What if a flying ant laid eggs in your arm and they're going to live in there now?
Johnny: [Shrugs] Meh. Then I'll be the Father Ant.
#749 · May 15, 2021
Johnny: Dad, Mark [our neighbour] is funny. When I was talking to him today, the second time I said "guess what"... he said "you got your pilot's license?" ... Isn't that funny, Dad? Haha... That's how he responded.
#748 · May 14, 2021
[The night a barn on Miller Rd. in Port Colborne burned down]
Johnny: I wonder how many years old that barn was.
Nikki: Quite.
Johnny: So it was quite years old?
#746 · Apr 27, 2021
[Miklos cuffed John's jeans because they were a bit too long]
John: What. Now I look like Santa.
Miklos: No, no... This is a style. [shows him photos on the internet]
John: I'm fixing them. You took a perfectly good pair of jeans and made them look ridiculous.
#745 · Apr 10, 2021
Miklos: If each month is 4 weeks long, how many months is 5 weeks?
Johnny: A month and a quarter.
Miklos: How do you know?
Johnny: Because I know that 4+1 is 5.
Miklos: Yeah, but I mean...
Johnny: Ugh, I don't feel like explaining.
#744 · Apr 3, 2021
Dominic: How do you think the world was created?
Johnny: Two giant asteroids smashed together...
Dominic: Actually, it was God.
Johnny: Well, I'm not going to say your idea is bad. They're both just ideas, nobody really knows what happened.
117 quotes found for Johnny, John