Displaying results for Johnny, John.

#787 · Jun 17
[while eating a cheeseburger]
John: See, I knew it was McDonald's cheese you were putting in my lunch sandwiches, Mom.
Nikki: Processed cheese? Yeah.
John: I'm not going to call it processed cheese. It sounds too important. I'm going to call it McDonald's cheese.
#784 · Jun 5
John: Dad, wouldn't it be an awesome Sci Fi book, where somebody puts invisible spray on themselves and they touch a mirror and they fall through the mirror because their reflection is blocking them when they're not invisible but it's not blocking them when they are invisible?
#783 · May 23
Miklos: When I was little [in Hungary] our neighbour came over and I offered her some of my cream of wheat, but then she slowly kept eating it until she finished it all.
John: [patting Miklos' shoulder] That's OK dad, you have bigger problems now.
#782 · May 11
John: What did the cheese husband say to his cheese kid about his cheese wife?
John: Cheese just the best.
#780 · Mar 27
John: Mamo snores loud! It's like turkeys screaming.
#779 · Mar 27
Miklos: [as he walked up behind John] Sorry, did I scare you?
John: Yeah, you walked up to me really loud. I was like "oh god, what's _he_ got?"
#777 · Mar 16
John: [moving closer to Miklos] I want to watch you do Wordle.
Miklos: Why?
John: Because it's satisfying to watch you lose.
#776 · Feb 27
Miklos: I use big words at work sometimes.
John: Why?
Miklos: I like to think it makes me sound smarter.
John: Well I am just flabbergasted.
#775 · Jan 28
[watching Wheel of Fortune, one of the contestant's name is Gary]
Miklos: Wow, a young guy named Gary.
John: Yeah, I always think of Garys as old grumpy men with less fingers than they need.
#774 · Jan 27
[John talking, Miklos not paying attention]
Miklos: Sorry, I was just thinking about the dashboard. It's a work of art.
John: Why is it a work of art?
Miklos: Because it tells people a lot of information in a simple way.
John: [examining the monitor] Oh.. but where's the power button? [shuts monitor off]
Miklos: So you're just gonna turn the monitor off?
John: Yeah I don't care.
#773 · Jan 26
Johnny: Yeah, moms are good for a lot of things. They're like multi-tool pocket knives.
#771 · Dec 30, 2021
Nikki: Oh what's that? In that tree!
Johnny: they're buds!
Nikki: No, they're fruit! What kind of tree is that?
Miklos: a partridge
Nikki: a partridge is a bird
Miklos: well what's the opposite of that?
Nikki: the opposite of a partridge?? There isn't an opposite of a bird. I think you're thinking of a pear tree.
Miklos: No, what's the tree version of a partridge?
#766 · Nov 28, 2021
Johnny: I just had an enjoyable moment. You wanna know what it was? My burp tasted like meatloaf.
#765 · Nov 8, 2021
[on snacking on Timbits for free while working at Tim Hortons]
Johnny: It was borrowing without asking, forever -- until you dropped it in the loo.
#764 · Nov 6, 2021
Miklos: Holy, that tablet is slow.
Johnny: Yes, but it's ok I've gotten used to being patient.
Mamo: It's because it's full of games. You should delete some of them. And maybe also clear some points or money or whatever.
Miklos: Cache? [Spells it out.]
Mamo: I guess? Whatever? What is that?
Johnny: It's stored things on your device, Mamo.
#762 · Oct 18, 2021
Nikki: Ahh!
Johnny: What?
Nikki: Nothing, nothing. Just saw something disturbing. Finish your story.
Johnny: So that button is where Auntie Pearl's emergency brake is! ...What did you see?
Nikki: Oh! Just roadkill..
Johnny: What kind of roadkill?
Nikki: Oh it was weird... I don't really wanna disturb you too -- ok it was a deer's head. Just the head, nothing else.
Johnny: A deer's head?? Wow. I wonder how it got there.
Nikki: I dunno. Maybe it got hit by a car and the head fell off?
Johnny: [in a British accent] 'e was wearin' a helmet but 'is 'ead come off!'

[ Origin of what he was quoting can be found here: https://youtu.be/vc82cy7ImRY ]
#760 · Oct 11, 2021
Johnny: I totally forgot that we were in this human universe.
#759 · Oct 1, 2021
Nikki: You should be in marketing. You're clever and very funny. You'd make some good commercials.
Johnny: [holding floss tightly and smiling into the mirror with a Transylvanian accent] Buy a finger trap today, on Vampire.ca!
#758 · Oct 1, 2021
Johnny: I'm a pretty smart kid. Like, I know the word "phenomenal". And I use catchphrases like, "what's the 4-1-1?"
#757 · Sep 19, 2021
Johnny: Farts are the opposite of two things: Not farting, and burping. Those are the fart opposites.
128 quotes found for Johnny, John