Nikki: This ice cream is still cold all the way at the bottom.
Johnny: Get used to it, kid. Life is cold. Freezing cold.

[An excerpt from John's virtual school today]
Teacher: Class, if you guys could go back in time, where would you go? You don't have to know the exact time or place, just something you're interested in. Where would you time travel to if you could go anywhere at all? John, let's start with you. Where would you go?
Johnny: 1996. Toonie factory.

Nikki: What are these bumps on your arm?
Johnny: It's not gonna be a problem.
Nikki: What if a flying ant laid eggs in your arm and they're going to live in there now?
Johnny: [Shrugs] Meh. Then I'll be the Father Ant.

Johnny: Dad, Mark [our neighbour] is funny. When I was talking to him today, the second time I said "guess what"... he said "you got your pilot's license?" ... Isn't that funny, Dad? Haha... That's how he responded.

[The night a barn on Miller Rd. in Port Colborne burned down]
Johnny: I wonder how many years old that barn was.
Nikki: Quite.
Johnny: So it was quite years old?

[Miklos cuffed John's jeans because they were a bit too long]
John: What. Now I look like Santa.
Miklos: No, no... This is a style. [shows him photos on the internet]
John: I'm fixing them. You took a perfectly good pair of jeans and made them look ridiculous.

Miklos: If each month is 4 weeks long, how many months is 5 weeks?
Johnny: A month and a quarter.
Miklos: How do you know?
Johnny: Because I know that 4+1 is 5.
Miklos: Yeah, but I mean...
Johnny: Ugh, I don't feel like explaining.

Dominic: How do you think the world was created?
Johnny: Two giant asteroids smashed together...
Dominic: Actually, it was God.
Johnny: Well, I'm not going to say your idea is bad. They're both just ideas, nobody really knows what happened.

Miklos: shhh....
Johnny: Sorry, but you're going to have to deal with it. I'm drawing on a balloon with a Sharpie, it's going to be squeaky.

[Miklos wrote some poems]
asparagus pee
so pungent to my nostrils
I cannot stand it
------------------------------
trimmed my beard today
a splinter in my finger
from a stray chin hair
------------------------------
thanks to John's comics
I sit here and write Haikus
on a Monday night

[Watching Canada's Worst Driver, appalled at all of the mistakes the drivers are making, he finally gets fed up and softly exclaims]
Johnny: i-bad-words.

Johnny: Dad, imagine I invented a saying?
Miklos: A saying?
Johnny: Yeah.. like... "The toaster never talks."

Nikki: My character looks like Harry Potter.
Johnny: Haha. She really does.
Nikki: Do you know who Harry Potter is?
Johnny: Yes! I've read Harry Potter.
Nikki: What? When?
Johnny: At school! I've read a bunch of them.
Nikki: Really??
Johnny: No wait, maybe I'm thinking of Scooby Doo.

Johnny: Who are you guys talking about?
Miklos: Prince.
Johnny: Who's that?
Nikki: Prince was one of the greatest musicians of his ti--
Johnny: One question -- cat, or human?

Johnny: You're an apple orchard!
Miklos: Yeah? What kind of apples?
Johnny: ROTTEN APPLES!

Johnny: Dad, do you know what blur is?
Miklos: Tell me.
Johnny: Blur is the tiny little squares that form a picture in a camera not lining up properly.
Miklos: Oh yeah? Who taught you that?
Johnny: Nobody. I'm just that smart of a 6-year-old, and yes, it is very smart for a 6-year-old.

Miklos: Ew. Is that garbage?
Nikki: John, did you fart?
Johnny: NO! It's this TOWN!
[Nikki rolls down window]
Johnny: [panicking] You're just letting it in, Mom!!

Johnny: I'm sorry for what I said before. I didn't mean it.
Nikki: ...Yeah? Do you remember what you said?
Johnny: .....No.
Nikki: One of the most important parts of apologizing is knowing what you're apologizing for.
Johnny: I'm sorry for my poor apology, Mom. Heh. I'm apologizing for my apology.

[After waiting all night, pausing for a few seconds after the countdown with a shrug]
Johnny: Now that I think about it, I don't even care. It's just a new year. Why do people celebrate this?

[Reading "The Bad Guys" book #3 to John]
Miklos: Chapter Two: The Lair of Dr. Marmalade [pronouncing it marma-lad]
John: It's marma-lade!
Miklos:. How do you know that?
John: Because, there's a silent E at the end which makes the last vowel before it say its name.
Miklos: Oh yeah? Where'd you learn that?
John: In kindergarten.