John: What did the cheese man say to his cheese kids about his cheese wife?
John: Cheese just the best.

John: Mamo snores loud! It's like turkeys screaming.

Miklos: [as he walked up behind John] Sorry, did I scare you?
John: Yeah, you walked up to me really loud. I was like "oh god, what's _he_ got?"

John: [moving closer to Miklos] I want to watch you do Wordle.
Miklos: Why?
John: Because it's satisfying to watch you lose.

Miklos: I use big words at work sometimes.
John: Why?
Miklos: I like to think it makes me sound smarter.
John: Well I am just flabbergasted.

[watching Wheel of Fortune, one of the contestant's name is Gary]
Miklos: Wow, a young guy named Gary.
John: Yeah, I always think of Garys as old grumpy men with less fingers than they need.

[John talking, Miklos not paying attention]
Miklos: Sorry, I was just thinking about the dashboard. It's a work of art.
John: Why is it a work of art?
Miklos: Because it tells people a lot of information in a simple way.
John: [examining the monitor] Oh.. but where's the power button? [shuts monitor off]
Miklos: So you're just gonna turn the monitor off?
John: Yeah I don't care.

Johnny: Yeah, moms are good for a lot of things. They're like multi-tool pocket knives.

Nikki: Oh what's that? In that tree!
Johnny: they're buds!
Nikki: No, they're fruit! What kind of tree is that?
Miklos: a partridge
Nikki: a partridge is a bird
Miklos: well what's the opposite of that?
Nikki: the opposite of a partridge?? There isn't an opposite of a bird. I think you're thinking of a pear tree.
Miklos: No, what's the tree version of a partridge?

Johnny: I just had an enjoyable moment. You wanna know what it was? My burp tasted like meatloaf.

[on snacking on Timbits for free while working at Tim Hortons]
Johnny: It was borrowing without asking, forever -- until you dropped it in the loo.

Miklos: Holy, that tablet is slow.
Johnny: Yes, but it's ok I've gotten used to being patient.
Mamo: It's because it's full of games. You should delete some of them. And maybe also clear some points or money or whatever.
Miklos: Cache? [Spells it out.]
Mamo: I guess? Whatever? What is that?
Johnny: It's stored things on your device, Mamo.

Nikki: Ahh!
Johnny: What?
Nikki: Nothing, nothing. Just saw something disturbing. Finish your story.
Johnny: So that button is where Auntie Pearl's emergency brake is! ...What did you see?
Nikki: Oh! Just roadkill..
Johnny: What kind of roadkill?
Nikki: Oh it was weird... I don't really wanna disturb you too -- ok it was a deer's head. Just the head, nothing else.
Johnny: A deer's head?? Wow. I wonder how it got there.
Nikki: I dunno. Maybe it got hit by a car and the head fell off?
Johnny: [in a British accent] 'e was wearin' a helmet but 'is 'ead come off!'

[ Origin of what he was quoting can be found here: https://youtu.be/vc82cy7ImRY ]

Johnny: I totally forgot that we were in this human universe.

Nikki: You should be in marketing. You're clever and very funny. You'd make some good commercials.
Johnny: [holding floss tightly and smiling into the mirror with a Transylvanian accent] Buy a finger trap today, on Vampire.ca!

Johnny: I'm a pretty smart kid. Like, I know the word "phenomenal". And I use catchphrases like, "what's the 4-1-1?"

Johnny: Farts are the opposite of two things: Not farting, and burping. Those are the fart opposites.

Pircsi: Who is Papo? Do we love him?
Johnny: Yes. Do you have amnesia?

Nikki: Uh what the.... Please tell me this is water.
Johnny: It's water!
Nikki: Do you know that for a fact?
Johnny: You only told me to say that...

Johnny: Did you hear that tap on the car roof just now? *imitates the sound*
Nikki: No I didn't. It might have been a bird though.
Johnny: Nah. More like a bird S.H.-bad word.
Nikki: Hahahaha. Why did you choose to say it that way instead of bird poo?
Johnny: Because it's funnier.