Johnny: Wanna be bad guys?
Miklos: Sure.
Johnny: Ok. Let’s go bad the day up.
Miklos: Bad the day up? What does that mean?
Johnny: When we go over there, the day’s gonna be so angry at us.

Johnny: Let’s go shoot the day!
Nikki: Shoot the day?
Johnny: Shoot the day means save the day — with GUNS!!
Nikki: What are you, American?

Johnny: Oh, look! A checkmark! Of geese!

Johnny: The vine bridge is open all the time and when I have to poop the bridge closes fast so I don’t poop myself. And when the poo touches it it’s very sharp; that’s when I know I have to poop. Then when I am pooping it sloooowly opens to let the poop out.

Johnny: Dad, when bad people die that’s good. Because when bad people die they aren’t alive anymore.
Miklos: Oh? And why is that good?
Johnny: Because when bad people die they are dead. And they can’t do bad things anymore.
Miklos: Where did you learn this from?
Johnny: From my brain.

[driving by a funeral home]
Johnny: Dad, why is that funeral guy there?
Miklos: There is a funeral going on right now.
Johnny: A funeral? Why?
Miklos: Yes, there are funerals all the time. You know, people die every day, it’s just a part of life.
Johnny: Funerals are so embarrassing.
Miklos: Embarrassing? Why?
Johnny: Because. You just sit there. And it’s embarrassing.
Miklos: It’s not embarrassing, it’s sad.
Johnny: It’s sad and embarrassing.

Johnny: We're trying to fix the robot arm. This one. It fell off. [Goes into a kitchen drawer, finds a small screwdriver.] This will do! This will do the thing.

[Pircsi playing a board game with Johnny, he keeps rolling the dice onto his pieces knocking them out of place]
Pircsi: you’re never going to win if you keep doing that
Johnny: I’m going to win because I’m cheating

Johnny: Dad, when I'm eating Nutella and breadsticks and you hit a bump, the breadstick breaks. So one day, on our way home from Mamo's, you might want to try to go slower.

Miklos: So who do you play with at school?
Johnny: Logan, Audrey, Liam, Pogey...
Miklos: Pogey?
Johnny: Pogey lived on Jupiter but moved to Earth to go to my preschool.

Johnny: Mom, what's this song called?
Nikki: Your mom. Oh great, I'm saying your mom to my own son now.

Miklos: It's called Weir Road.
Johnny: Weir Road.
Miklos: Not 'Weird' Road.
Johnny: I DIDN'T SAY Weird Road. I said Weir Road!
Miklos: Okay, sorry.
Johnny: ... Heh, but it is a funny, weird road.

[During a quiet moment while eating lunch after the dog's toenail broke, spurting blood everywhere, following a morning of other small disasters]
Johnny: Mom... I think it's time we sell this house.

Johnny: Dad, what makes my fingers move?
Miklos: Your brain
Johnny: My brain???
Miklos: Yes, it controls everything!
Johnny: Even my toes? My hands? My mouth?
Miklos: Yes, everything.
Johnny: That’s funny. Dad?
Miklos: Yes?
Johnny: What’s a brain?

Nikki: Wow, it's taking a long time to turn onto this street.
Johnny: Uhh YEAH... King Street is a really busy street.

Johnny: Mommy, thanks for giving me my sucker. It's got a beautiful taste.

[playing Mario Kart]
Johnny: Why is his name Bowser dad?
Miklos: I don’t know, why is this guy’s name Mario?
Johnny: Because! His mother named him Mario when he was a baby!

Johnny: Can you make me a real motorcycle dad?
Miklos: How do I do that?
Johnny: Just use the tools in the shed. It’ll make it easier.

[while running to the bathroom]
Johnny: Pause this, I have to go poo!

Johnny: Dad is this Toyota expensive?
Miklos: Yeah it'd be expensive if you were to buy it on your own.
Johnny: Dad, you can buy it with me any time you want.