Nikki: Hey you know what'd be a good way to freak someone out, if you weren't concerned about animal cruelty?
[long pause]
Miklos: Alright, nice setup... go on...
[long pause]
Nikki: ... put a bird in their car.

[after waiting for cable tech to come all day]
Miklos: Oh look, the tech's out there on the wire.
Nikki: Ah, no!
Miklos: Oh wait, it's just a little squirrel.
[squirrel standing on wire, wiggling its tail]

Nikki: Look at these pictures of these cats.
Nikki: Oh.. this [first] one is the snow outside, looks like a vagina..
Miklos: How?
Nikki: Shut up. Look at this cat picture.

Nikki: people will put anything in anything

[really long honk nextdoor]
Nikki: get out of the way, house!

[Facebook friend]: Walking home from Co-op with a granny cart and 3 bags of groceries with no gloves on when its -14 outside.....not my smartest moment. What should have taken 6 minutes to get home ended up taking 45 because I had to keep stopping and putting my hands in my jacket every 5 minutes to warm up. :(
Nikki: Wait, it should've taken 6 minutes... you stopped after 5 minutes... 1 minute left... stopped *brain explosion*

Nikki: she's so strange
Nikki: then again i've been drawing wolves for 45 minutes

miklos: nobody appreciates my humour here, they just think i'm odd
Nikki: I know
Nikki: you're an immigrant, luckily, so instead of institutionalizing you, they attribute it to culture

miklos: hrm I just took a pushpin from the right side of my cubicle and I was gonna put it on the left side of the cubicle (to the left of my computer) and I dragged my mouse with the intention that I was going to click on the left side panel of my cubicle to bring the panel into focus but it didn't work cuz THE CURSOR BELONGS INSIDE THE COMPUTER..
Nikki: what the hell is happening

Nikki: I'm connected to Ben Gunning from the Local Rabbits on LinkedIn now, but I can't view his profile because we don't know anyone in common. pff
Miklos: befriend kevin bacon
Nikki: ohhh good idea

Tom: You know in a year you'll see that guy and he'll have one of these [motions with hands indicating a fat lower torso area]
Nikki: The male 'gunt'?
Tom: Hah! Yes. The male gunt.
Nikki: The 'genis'?

Nikki: seems to repeat itself every 5 years or so
Nikki: victor divorces someone, goes missing, dies, comes back
Nikki: marries another person, divorces them, goes missing, marries someone while missing, goes missing from there and back to genoa city
Nikki: then marries someone, forgetting he never divorced someone
Nikki: usually the first person he had ever married
Nikki: alternate as needed
Curtis: hahahaha you're well in the loop eh?
Nikki: i know a thing or two
Nikki: and one of the wives was blind
Nikki: the one he met while missing. Grace. now everyone go to hell
Curtis: Hope
Nikki: same thing

Miklos: What's at the dollar store?
Nikki: What isn't? You took me on a drive for pig's blood for god's sake, I think you owe me a dollar store run...

[re: Hurricane Sandy]
Miklos: How are kids going to go trick-or-treating?
Nikki: There's two days left. If they put their heads together they can come up with a plan.

miklos: "dress for not where you are but where you want to be"
Nikki: "on a dump run"

Nikki: Miklos later brought up the point that it's my fault dud was there, after all, I introduced him to this artist. I opted to instead blame my friends for introducing me to the artist in 2002... and then further opted to blame him for being born. Just horrible. I know nobody else who such weird things happen to. And it's BECAUSE I said "morning angel" to you yesterday!
Goran: YOU INVITED IT!
Nikki: this isn't rape, you can't invite someone to this

Nikki: I kept having nightmares. Walt [from Breaking Bad] was my dad and he lived separately from my mom in a house that was nice during the day but terrorized by neighbour kids at night and also a mean ghost
Nikki: Ps you should ask your local english major this: is it generally assumed that all ghosts other than casper are mean ghosts thus making what I said redundant and thus the reason he is so specifically named or can ghosts have an in-between personality as well and I've read too much into this?

Nikki: I don't even know how to get toothpaste out of a shirt
Miklos: Water... it's how i get it out of my mouth.
Nikki: [holds shirt up after rinsing it] You're a genius!

Nikki: I am so tired
Nikki: Curtis, what the hell?
Curtis: Whatcha tired from?
Nikki: Being awake

Nikki: Which one's your triceps? [while doing a Wii Fit workout]
Miklos: Your Bingo-wings.