[While playing Minecraft on the Switch]
Miklos: Why is this controller pulling me to the left when I'm not even doing anything?
Johnny: Because I spilled water on it once and made it malfunction. It's pretty much useless now.

Johnny: How was the first caveman created? Tell me that. Maybe a dinosaur had an unusual egg and there was a caveman in it.

Johnny: [from the backseat of the car, looking out the window] Imagine being a cloud? Going wherever the wind blows...
Miklos: [looking over at Nikki] That's pretty poetic for a six-year-old, no?

Nikki: ...Johnny, I mean John
Miklos: hey, on dagh.net I still write Johnny because that's what all of your quotes are under.
Johnny: that's fine, but when I grow up, when I'm like 15 or 16, I want you guys to call me John Extreme, because I really like that name.

Miklos: [trying to remember how to play a theme song on the piano] Ah man I forget how this goes.
Johnny: Don't you have the theme song instructions? [sheet music]

[After Miklos worked up a hefty sneeze]
Johnny: Dad, it's cool that you only have a serious-sounding sneeze.

Johnny: Dad, who invented the alphabet?
Miklos: George Alpha...bate
Johnny: Huh. Joe Alphabate must be his son

Johnny: What's that from?
Miklos: A movie called Forrest Gump
Johnny: [pause] Is that a movie about a guy pooping in the woods?
Miklos: I said Gump, not dump

[Opens the door to the office holding John]
Miklos: I found this, it won't turn off

Johnny: Onesay Possanskay. The world's greatest BMX biker. Born in China, moved to Canada when he grew up.

[Playing Minecraft]
Miklos: Ok John go to Settings, then turn on "Show coordinates"
Nikki: [half listening] What? Choke hornets?

Johnny: Mom, Google how volcanoes are formed.
[Nikki does so]
Johnny: Hm. Not very interesting. Did you know I've almost never made a perfect snowball?

Johnny: [playing Minecraft] Ugh, granite... the DIRT of the mine.

Johnny: [looking at a farm field with square hay bales] I like life when it's Minecrafty.

Johnny: [on the can] Love you!
Miklos: [from the living room] You talking to me or your poo?
Johnny: You, of course. I already gave my poo some bad treatment by flushing it down to its permanent jail cell.

Johnny: Every week we catch a little baby catfish.
Papo: A little big catfish?
Johnny: No, I said a little baby catfish. Why would anyone say little big catfish? You'd have to be drunk or d-bad word to say that.

Johnny: Ooh. I have brain freeze. But not a bad brain freeze. A happy one.
Nikki: What's the difference?
Johnny: A bad brain freeze PUNCHES your brain! ['Punching his forehead' motion] A happy one HUGS your brain. [Smiles sweetly]

Johnny: Dad, teach me programming.
Miklos: I'll teach you when you're a bit older. Right now it would probably be pretty boring for you.
Johnny: No! It would be exciting! Nothing in my life is boring, except for Fabricland.

Miklos: You're a smart guy. You know what I am?
John: A destroyed man.

[after his first guitar lesson]
Johnny: I was nervous at first because I didn't expect it would be that fun. But as soon as I saw my music teacher I smiled up.
Miklos: Smiled up? What does that mean?
Johnny: It means that the good feeling punches down the nervous feeling and it lives happily ever after.