Johnny: Why do people eat the eyeballs of fish?
Miklos: Do you think people actually do that?
Johnny: Yes, because this world is crazy. [mumbles] It's a terrible place. I bet Jupiter is better.

Miklos: "not nonsense" is just "sense" because the two negatives, not and non, cancel each other out so you're just left with "sense".
Johnny: Does _not_ make sense.

Johnny: Do we have any decaf in this house yet?

[playing with Miklos' Jabra headset]
Johnny: Wow. This doesn't even smell like sound. It smells like work. [puts it down]

[after coming in from a nice bonfire in the backyard]
Johnny: That was terrible.
Miklos: What was?
Johnny: When you're a six-year-old and you're outside in the dark after your bedtime, it's a terrible nightmare.

Johnny: [after the first day of grade 1] Dad, grade 1 is awesome. I wish I had a band so I could sing "grade 1 is awesome, grade 1 is awesoooomeee" you know with all the drums and the rock and roll guitars?

[Sitting in a Shoppers parking lot waiting for Nikki, John sitting beside me in the passenger seat eating a cheeseburger, complaining about the sun in his eyes]
Miklos: Here, we can drape mom's sweater over the visor and pull it off to the side. There we go. Better?
Johnny: [singing] You are the wind beneath my wings.

Johnny: [going on about his cactus] Lil Cacty does NOT need protection from me. He has his own protection, with his prickles. But when it comes to the porcupines... [shaking his head in disdain for at least 10 seconds maintaining full eye contact] when it comes to the porcupines, the fire lizard has to come out and shoot poison at the porcupine's face so that it runs away from Lil Cacty.

Nikki: We need to actually vacuum soon since Rosie [our robot vacuum] quit.
John: Yeah. We need to replace her with a new one. I'm not saying that we're going to replace a family member, but I AM saying we have to take a family member to the junkyard, and then replace her with a new family member.

[during lunch]
Johnny: Two of the greatest, most magnificent things for eating are your hands and your mouth.
Nikki: A fork is good too.

[Every night I whistle him the same song when he goes to bed. Today I decided to change some of the notes in the song. He listened for a while then interrupted]
Johnny: Dad, without any effects please!

Nikki: Look, John. It's a caterpillar! A big one.
Johnny: [hands on hips, talking to the caterpillar] I would be happy to be at your service as a caterpillar owner.

[While playing Minecraft on the Switch]
Miklos: Why is this controller pulling me to the left when I'm not even doing anything?
Johnny: Because I spilled water on it once and made it malfunction. It's pretty much useless now.

Johnny: How was the first caveman created? Tell me that. Maybe a dinosaur had an unusual egg and there was a caveman in it.

Johnny: [from the backseat of the car, looking out the window] Imagine being a cloud? Going wherever the wind blows...
Miklos: [looking over at Nikki] That's pretty poetic for a six-year-old, no?

Nikki: ...Johnny, I mean John
Miklos: hey, on dagh.net I still write Johnny because that's what all of your quotes are under.
Johnny: that's fine, but when I grow up, when I'm like 15 or 16, I want you guys to call me John Extreme, because I really like that name.

Miklos: [trying to remember how to play a theme song on the piano] Ah man I forget how this goes.
Johnny: Don't you have the theme song instructions? [sheet music]

[After Miklos worked up a hefty sneeze]
Johnny: Dad, it's cool that you only have a serious-sounding sneeze.

Johnny: Dad, who invented the alphabet?
Miklos: George Alpha...bate
Johnny: Huh. Joe Alphabate must be his son

Johnny: What's that from?
Miklos: A movie called Forrest Gump
Johnny: [pause] Is that a movie about a guy pooping in the woods?
Miklos: I said Gump, not dump