John: Dad can you grab me some milk?
Nikki: You can get yourself some milk John. I think it’s time for you to become more self-sufficient.
John: But I am self-efficient.
Nikki: I said self-sufficient.
John: Yes, and I am being self-efficient because while I go get a book dad gets me some milk; yippee!

John: do you even use the Messages app on your work phone?
Miklos: yeah… Sometimes
Miklos: … during work hours
Miklos: … not very often
John: heh, the answer depletes every time you think about it.

Miklos: If you want to be in the olympics, this is the time to start preparing.
John: Well, I am never going to play any sports.
Miklos: Not with that attitude…
John: Exactly. [sarcastically] Finally, someone who gets me.

John: I wonder how the first form of life on Earth was created.
Nikki: By mistake.

John: I don’t overthink things.
Miklos: No? You under think?
John: No, I just think.

John: When I was four, I had this philosophy that cars driving on the roads would spin the earth around. The cars would be going nowhere and it would be the earth spinning.

John: Dad got me a slingshot.
Nikki: That better not be used on anything that's alive.
John: It won't. Just trees.
Nikki: Trees are alive.
John: All right. Just windows.
Nikki: ..........
John: And if that's not okay, just Dad.
Nikki: He's alive too.
John: No!

John: Dad, can you make a cheesecake today since it's National Cherry Cheesecake Day? ... Dad can we be more aware of lost dogs because it's National Lost Dog Awareness Day?

[After buying a little guitar amp]
John: Isn't it nice, your little red guitar didn't have a voice for 20 years, and today we gave it some cough syrup

John: [singing] I found a straw
I opened up my eyes, I found a straw

John: Celebrity Jeopardy is like college basketball to basketball.

Miklos: Do you think if we were listening to something like Joel Plaskett, we'd be driving differently?
John: Yeah
Miklos: So you're saying the type of music we listen to influences our driving? [Listening to dance music]
John: Definitely, given that you're doing 100 in a whiteout.

John: Do you know what my favourite question is at a restaurant? "How do you like your steak?"

[Taking money out of an ATM]
John: Ooh! It's warm!
Miklos: Hmmm.. I wonder why it's warm. It's not like it was just made. *smiles* A bit concerning, isn't it?
Miklos: Feels good though!
John: Feeling good makes you concerned?

[driving around downtown]
Miklos: ok we still have a few minutes to kill before I have to drop you off at school. Wanna do donuts in the No Frills parking lot?
John: you can't do donuts in a front wheel drive car
Miklos: I'll find a way
John: let's not
[a few minutes later]
Miklos: Okay, I'll just turn around up there and we'll head to school
John: turn around where?
Miklos: I'll turn around a few times... up there in the No Frills parking lot.
John: dad...

John: [mimicking the compass] North, East, South, West.. Never Eat Soggy Waffles.
Miklos: [at the same time as John saying "soggy waffles"] Shredded Wheat...
John: What? What is shredded wheat?
Miklos: A cereal brand from the old days. Not as popular now I suppose.
John: Who'd name a cereal "shredded wheat"?

Miklos: John, can you turn the light off?
John: Sorry, my answers are limited. You have to ask the right question.

John: Dad, I love you. I know when you say something dumb you're just expressing yourself.

[finding him huddled into a tree]
Miklos: Whatcha doin'?
John: Surviving on two bars of internet.

John: I like Ford Broncos
Nikki: they're great for when you're running from the police
John: [mutters] for murdering your wife