Alex: I've never seen the Wizard of Oz but what's the point of watching it? I already know there's a scarecrow, a tin man, and a wolf man. What else is there to know?!

Nikki: I don't even roll my eyes at your pun posts
Nikki: I think my eyes just vibrate in place as if they did a full roll to save time

Pearl: Did you say praise the lord?
Jess: ....? No
Pearl: What did you say?
Jess: Train's still going

(Backing out of a driveway onto a highway)
Pearl: What am I gonna hit?
*Curtis looks around briefly and sees nothing*
Pearl: The road, Jack!

Pearl: What's Icelandic for GPS?
Curtis: What does GPS even stand for in English?
Pearl: (after some thought) General Purpose Stuff?

Curtis: Why did No Frills take their sign down?
Pearl: Because they have frills now

Nikki: Do you have to pee or anything? I have to wash my hair.

Miklos: Hol van a távirányító?
Nikki: I heard Dorito. And yes. A thousand times yes.

Curtis: I kinda hate Cogeco's new beta website
Curtis: *Provides link*
Alex: Oh yeah, me too - there's a lot of work they'd still need to do
Alex: For example, a complete overhaul

Nikki: the Twitter notifications are non-stop. This is like being Snoop Dogg's son's cousin. But not the blood-related one.

[Looking at an alphabet book with Johnny]
Miklos: They put 4 letters on one screen? Okay...
Nikki: They're called pages, by the way.

Alex: Don't you like that Baxo guy? He tells it like it is.
Well..he tells it like he'd like it to be.

Pearl: Would it look weird if I stuck my nose in your exhaust pipe?

Michelle: damn walking dead... who the heck eats an apple when they first get up in the morning
Miklos: sounds pretty unrealistic... in a show about zombies.

Jessica: I have to peeee!
Mikkel: You know, you can do something about that.
Jessica: No, I can't! I don't have a "peenis"!

Alex: Soirée. Doesn't that sound fancy?
Jessica: No, it sounds French.

*Alex falls asleep reading something on Jessica's phone*
Jessica: Can I have my phone back if you're gonna fall asleep?
Alex: Yeah, just pull the cord.
*Jessica pulls the cord and it gets stuck*
Alex: Ahh! That's my face!

Nikki: Some people have a weird confidence. Those people are usually less talented than me.

Alex: Thank god we have seats at the concert tonight. I sat for so long today that I don't feel like standing anymore

Miklos: You know the years before they had like 18 cameras filming... how did they know who was safe and who wasn't? Who actually won all those old World Series?
Nikki: Not me.

(Random interruption after Jessica is talking to Alex for 5 minutes)
Alex: Okay I'm having a brain fart. What was Clinton's first name?

Alex: Justin Trudeau: you may think he's shifty but everything he says is "True-deau."
Jessica: Where do you come up with this stuff?
Alex: Out of my own head.
Alex: Do you use Pillbury when you bake?
Jessica: No..
Alex: Because that's the only true dough.

Brian: What's the date today? 13?
Alex: Thursday the 13th.
Brian: So tomorrow's Friday the 13th.
Alex: umm...

Pearl: I'm lost. Well not really lost - I know where we are and I know where we need to be, I just can't connect the two

Pearl: First we need to get off on Victoria... poor Victoria

[after 45 minutes backing up a folder, Windows 8 pops up an error message]
Nikki: 'Catastrophic failure' ...!
Miklos: Only you.

Curtis: Come across any memorable humour recently in agents of shield?
Alex: Oh a lot
Curtis: Share 3 with me so I can reminisce
Alex: I'd have to remember

Brian: He does nothing on the computer apart from the few things he does

(Upon Curtis pointing out roadkill guts on the side of a highway)
Pearl: Guts! Glory. Ram.

[Nikki presses car's 'Media' button which begins playing music from Miklos's iPhone]
Nikki: Oh, sweet. You have the new U2 album on your phone!
Miklos: Yeah, it's great. And it was free.
Nikki: Wow, lucky. When'd you get that?
Miklos: Haha... ... ...is this a real conversation?
Nikki: No.

[Miklos pushes the call button on the steering wheel to call for chinese food]
Miklos: Call Lily's coo-zine ...Cuisine! Ugh, I don't think I even have it in my contacts. Ugh! Stop listening!!!

Nikki: Found some pants on old navy's website which are referred to as "pull-on pants". Considering buying some since I am always wasting an hour in the morning sewing pieces of fabric around my legs.

Nikki: Hal Johnson's probably in a home by now
Miklos: "Augh! My body's breakin'."

Nikki: why do I see "1 comment" on your post and then when I open it nothing is there?
Miklos: that was my comment but it got deleted.
Nikki: it ... got deleted?
Miklos: I deleted it.
Nikki: wow the mods were all over that comment of yours

[After referencing a car on the side of the 406]
Pearl: I wonder if the owls are there
Curtis: In the car?
Pearl: By the hospital
[The hospital then appears beside the highway]
Curtis: Ahhh right (switches to left lane to pass a car)
Pearl: Are you gonna make the exit?
Curtis: What exit?
Pearl: Fourth Ave - to get to the hospital
Curtis: Ohhh you actually want to go there
Pearl: *facepalm*

Miklos: Wtf... fireworks. On Victory Ave.
Nikki: Is it welfare day?

Nikki: What do you think of this for a business name: Fn Cute Nursery Items

[While talking about the Saved By The Bell reunion on The Tonight Show]
Alex: Of course they couldn't get Screech in there because he's in jail
Alex: Oh wait, apparently he's bailed out
Curtis: Saved by the bail

Nikki: I looked it up and she's my first cousin once removed
Miklos: Once removed? Those words don't make sense to me.
Nikki: Have you ever heard the phrase "twice removed"?
Miklos: No. [pauses] I've heard of "re-fried", like re-fried beans?

miklos: what's that front bathroom called [like in rich houses]
nikki: the powder room?

Miklos: Hey, what's the Artist Formerly Known as Prince... currently known as?
Nikki: Prince.
Miklos: What the... How?

Curtis: I have Taylor Swift looping in my head again
Alex: Just shake it off

[Nikki stands up, awakening a napping Miklos on the couch]
Miklos: What the hell are you doing?
Nikki: What are you talking about?
Miklos: Oh. [bored voice] I thought you were floating in the air for a minute.
Nikki: ...that's going on Facebook.
Miklos: What did you say? I thought you were floating. Like a stick.
[Nikki looks at Miklos, confused]
Miklos: Stephen Harper...
[Falls back asleep]

Nikki: Today I thought to myself, "Man I wish I really was the master of net revenues."

Pearl: I like the timing of my birthday because it means spring is around the corner
Pearl: Spring is my second favourite, next to fall
Curtis: Yeah, same here
Pearl: Yeah I like when things bloom, but I like it better when they die

Nikki: if the boy gets up and won't settle in the middle of the night, I would go in and try to settle him but he thinks I am the milk man.
Miklos: Not a problem, I am Milkless
Nikki: how appropriate...

[loud car drives down the street]
Nikki: who is this fuckhead on Christmas Eve...
Miklos: ...that's driving a kazoo?

[watching an Excel gum commercial]
Nikki: I love how they think donut breath is bad breath. If you had donut breath I'd be happy to kiss you. You know? How is that bad?

Pearl: So I was thinking...wait no I wasn't

[channel surfing and stumbling upon the music video Sam Smith - I'm Not The Only One]
Miklos: ugh this guy is white?
Nikki: I know eh? He sounds like a sweet black man.
Nikki: now I don't like him hehe