miklos: hrm I just took a pushpin from the right side of my cubicle and I was gonna put it on the left side of the cubicle (to the left of my computer) and I dragged my mouse with the intention that I was going to click on the left side panel of my cubicle to bring the panel into focus but it didn't work cuz THE CURSOR BELONGS INSIDE THE COMPUTER..
Nikki: what the hell is happening

Tom: They've engineered these apples so the core is smaller. I can pretty much eat this entire apple.
Miklos: You should.
Tom: No, I'm not a horse.
Miklos: Horses don't eat apples. They eat sugar cubes and hay. Where do you get these apple-eating horses?
Tom: They were imported from Bulgaria.

Nikki: I'm connected to Ben Gunning from the Local Rabbits on LinkedIn now, but I can't view his profile because we don't know anyone in common. pff
Miklos: befriend kevin bacon
Nikki: ohhh good idea

[at 3:49pm]
Miklos: since 3:30pm, 4 hours have passed.

Tom: You know in a year you'll see that guy and he'll have one of these [motions with hands indicating a fat lower torso area]
Nikki: The male 'gunt'?
Tom: Hah! Yes. The male gunt.
Nikki: The 'genis'?

Nikki: seems to repeat itself every 5 years or so
Nikki: victor divorces someone, goes missing, dies, comes back
Nikki: marries another person, divorces them, goes missing, marries someone while missing, goes missing from there and back to genoa city
Nikki: then marries someone, forgetting he never divorced someone
Nikki: usually the first person he had ever married
Nikki: alternate as needed
Curtis: hahahaha you're well in the loop eh?
Nikki: i know a thing or two
Nikki: and one of the wives was blind
Nikki: the one he met while missing. Grace. now everyone go to hell
Curtis: Hope
Nikki: same thing

Miklos: What's at the dollar store?
Nikki: What isn't? You took me on a drive for pig's blood for god's sake, I think you owe me a dollar store run...

Curtis: you were/are/forever will be da man
Miklos: i can live with this
[recorded forever]

[re: Hurricane Sandy]
Miklos: How are kids going to go trick-or-treating?
Nikki: There's two days left. If they put their heads together they can come up with a plan.

[dad misreading things again]
Dad: It said something about it being tabletop or something like that
Miklos: counterfeit you mean?
Dad: yeah, that's it....

miklos: "dress for not where you are but where you want to be"
Nikki: "on a dump run"

Nikki: Miklos later brought up the point that it's my fault dud was there, after all, I introduced him to this artist. I opted to instead blame my friends for introducing me to the artist in 2002... and then further opted to blame him for being born. Just horrible. I know nobody else who such weird things happen to. And it's BECAUSE I said "morning angel" to you yesterday!
Goran: YOU INVITED IT!
Nikki: this isn't rape, you can't invite someone to this

Nikki: I kept having nightmares. Walt [from Breaking Bad] was my dad and he lived separately from my mom in a house that was nice during the day but terrorized by neighbour kids at night and also a mean ghost
Nikki: Ps you should ask your local english major this: is it generally assumed that all ghosts other than casper are mean ghosts thus making what I said redundant and thus the reason he is so specifically named or can ghosts have an in-between personality as well and I've read too much into this?

Nikki: I don't even know how to get toothpaste out of a shirt
Miklos: Water... it's how i get it out of my mouth.
Nikki: [holds shirt up after rinsing it] You're a genius!

Nikki: I am so tired
Nikki: Curtis, what the hell?
Curtis: Whatcha tired from?
Nikki: Being awake

Miklos: Splurge of the week, Iced Mocha Latte, buddy... [waving drink around]
Nathan: ... why did you say it so stupid? Oh! I thought you said "I smoke a lot eh, buddy..."

Nikki: Which one's your triceps? [while doing a Wii Fit workout]
Miklos: Your Bingo-wings.

Nikki: your hands are gross, you should use soap...
Miklos: i use soap frequently
Nikki: you should use it consistently!

Nikki: I thought I'd hate this dog forever, but she's so good now
Miklos: Well she's getting a lot more walks these days.
Nikki: Don't say that word, she's looking at you now
Miklos: I meant Wok ... Wok with Yan?
Miklos: Damn that still sounds the same
Nikki: She doesn't know the difference between W-o-k and w-a-l-k!

Matt: he's great because he can think out of the box
Miklos: into the search box

Curtis: There's a city in nova scotia called Musquodoboit
Curtis: I can't believe how close that is to mosquito bite
Alex: Yeah, it's like someone got bitten in the mouth, then tried to say it as they were asked "So what should we call this town?"

Airport P.A.: Paging passenger Wong
Miklos: Well, that narrows it down!

miklos: lose all the way
alex: I believe the term is "epic fail"
miklos: lose all the way! it's the only logical opposite of win all the way
alex: you mean epic win?

Brian: The reason for my phone call today is I was wondering if I can discuss something with you for about a minute or two, if you can spare 5 minutes.

[peter tells me he will be taking upper-intermediate english lessons]
miklos: soon you'll speak better english than a canadian-born person
peter: i'll be your next president
miklos: we have a prime minister, but even that's too much
miklos: but I wouldn't let you be either
peter: ok, i wouldn't wanna be anyway.. i wouldn't want to argue with the eskimos over how many polar bears they can eat per year

Alex: so, selling your sled for 4 grand, did you turn a profit on it?
Brian: well its tough to say, I would have to bring my folder to double check, but I'd imagine it would be a yes or no.

Lauren: my stove just caught on fire
Lauren: i'm shaking
Curtis: well get over there, it'll warm you up

Lauren: I like my laptop
Lauren: I just hate that it doesn't work

miklos: i see, ok god
miklos: +o
curtis: no god is correct
miklos: you're right, no god is correct

Miklos: Very nice watch, wear it always!
Alex: It needs less links.
Miklos: Really? Fit me good, a bit loose but that's how it should be.
Alex: It needs like 1 link gone, it looks too gangster.
Miklos: How skinny is your wrist?
Alex: 0.95em

Alex: paul just sent me a photo
Alex: he's 2 hours north of toronto
Alex: in a snow storm
Curtis: ah that sucks
Curtis: so what's the photo of?
Alex: the aforementioned subject
Curtis: ahh

[Watching The Untouchables]
Nikki: Ahh, hugging your little girl while holding a gun. Those were the days.
Miklos: Ah, the American dream.

Lauren: hey curtis i have a question
Curtis: yes lauren
Lauren: nevermind
Lauren: i was emailing a resume
Lauren: it asked if i wanted to send them as online documents
Lauren: but then i thought what if their office doesn't have internet access
lauren: so i didn't haha
Curtis: ummmm
Lauren: you never know
Curtis: you know email is part of the internet right?
Lauren: hahaha omg
Lauren: i'm dumb

Miklos: If you told me 10 years ago that we will have a 500GB hard drive, I wouldn't have believed you.
Matt: Imagine a 500TB hard drive?
Miklos: Give it 10 years! 500TB hard drive for $79..

Bill Clinton: I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.
Barack Obama: When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point.

Nikki: this dog is SLEEPY
Nikki: she does nothing all day
Nikki: the government should give her a paycheck

Nikki: Did you know that there's new evidence that penguins might've existed before dinosaurs?
Miklos: I bet you they're going to find a whole bunch of new things out. Like there never were dinosaurs. They were just... horses.
Nikki: ...Are you a Creationist?
Miklos: I'm creative

Alex: I got a huge problem (staying terribly calm)
Brian: What's up?
Alex: Umm. I got a nail clipping in my eye.
Brian: What?
Alex: Yeah.. Dude OUCH! It hurts.
Brian: Lemme See!!!! (Excited but ironic) HOLY SHIT!!!
Alex: yeah.. umm get it!
Brian: Okay. ahh.. there you go.
Alex: Ugh!! (Sigh) Much better. Man That sucked! Look how big it was!
Brian: Yeah... EW!!

miklos: I have a soft spot for timepieces.
Nikki: delicately put, yes :)

Dad: "You know that guy, what the hell is his name? Johnny Workman?" (referring to Steve Jobs)

[After a candle salesman tried to tell my dad how to use a homemade candle at the market]
Dad: come on... I light it, then I blow it out at the end of the night.
Dad: I give you money, you give me the candle.
Dad: Let me handle this candle...

Waitress: What would you like to drink?
Curtis: Iced Tea.
Alex: Uhh, I'll have a Coke.
Waitress: Did you say vodka and Coke?

Nikki: look there is a man wearing a cape with a bouquet of flowers...
Nikki: is he a judge? Yea he's a judge..
Miklos: "aw, I am so sorry I...."
Nikki: "judged you" hahahah

Alex: If I was videotaped, it wouldn't be a documentary. It would be an instructional video for the rest of mankind.

[hanging pictures on the wall]
miklos: there, now it's level
miklos: now we're cooking...cooking with diesel
Nikki: Vin Diesel? ..."Cooking With Vin Diesel"?

Nikki: oh jane if everything bothers you so much why don't you just go somewhere else..... like heaven?

[Signing onto an online site, reading security question]
Miklos: what is your childhood best friend's name?
Nikki: teeebor
Nikki: why am i so funny this morning?

Nikki: i have a bone to pick. you have to stop responding to me when you're half asleep
miklos: half asleep?
miklos: i'm fully awake!
Nikki: last night I came to bed and said "hah, the washer played me a little song!" and you said "OK.." as if I had asked you to do a chore.
miklos: hahaha
Nikki: then I said "do you even know what I just said?"
Nikki: and you said "no"
Nik : and I said "well wake up for a minute and I'll repeat it." then I repeated it and you said "oh alright"
Nikki: clearly still not understanding
Nikki: anyway, pff!
miklos: i literally laughed out loud at this
miklos: cuz
miklos: i do not remember that conversation at all
miklos: i was asleep
Nikki: your eyes were open
miklos: brain was not.
Nikki: and you were half sitting up
miklos: hrm
miklos: weird
Nikki: that needs to change!
miklos: i can't change something i'm not aware of
Nikki: yes you can
Nikki: i have hope for you

Curtis: do you really not know who sarah palin is?
Curtis: i assumed you were joking but you never know
Alex: i only know everyone referencing her
Alex: i mean it's an easy google research
Alex: i just never bothered to
Curtis: well
Curtis: she woulda been VP of US if the other guy won
Alex: oh
Alex: thats definitely not what i had in mind
Alex: all this time i thought it was some deaf actress
Alex: hahaha
Curtis: that's marlee matlin
baxo: i see that now
Curtis: you got the lin right