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#627 4 days ago
Johnny: Dad, what makes my fingers move?
Miklos: Your brain
Johnny: My brain???
Miklos: Yes, it controls everything!
Johnny: Even my toes? My hands? My mouth?
Miklos: Yes, everything.
Johnny: That’s funny. Dad?
Miklos: Yes?
Johnny: What’s a brain?
#626 11 days ago
Nikki: Wow, it's taking a long time to turn onto this street.
Johnny: Uhh YEAH... King Street is a really busy street.
#625 11 days ago
Johnny: Mommy, thanks for giving me my sucker. It's got a beautiful taste.
#624 Nov 26
[playing Mario Kart]
Johnny: Why is his name Bowser dad?
Miklos: I don’t know, why is this guy’s name Mario?
Johnny: Because! His mother named him Mario when he was a baby!
#623 Nov 18
Johnny: Can you make me a real motorcycle dad?
Miklos: How do I do that?
Johnny: Just use the tools in the shed. It’ll make it easier.
#622 11/06/17
Jessica: He's a man of many few words... Many few?
Pearl: And she's not even 1/4 of the way through her wine yet.
#620 10/13/17
Curtis: So if memory serves me right, Spinney might be around Hamilton for sushi on Friday or Monday
Alex: And if the waitresses serve us right, we should get everything we ordered
#619 9/17/17
[while running to the bathroom]
Johnny: Pause this, I have to go poo!
#618 9/11/17
Johnny: Dad is this Toyota expensive?
Dad: Yeah it'd be expensive if you were to buy it on your own.
Johnny: Dad, you can buy it with me any time you want.
#617 9/09/17
Miklos: [9:45PM, to Nikki] It's wine forty-five.
#616 9/06/17
Johnny: What's a king? Does a king have a crown?
Dad: Yes a king has a crown.
Johnny: What does a queen have?
Dad: A crown too but a smaller one.
Johnny: Isn't that called a tiara?
Dad: Yes, how do you know that word?
Johnny: I know EVERY word!
Dad: Is that right?
Johnny: Yes, a tiara.
#615 9/05/17
Miklos: "Reinforcements." [Reinforcement labels, for paper] That was one of the first words I learned in English.
Rob: You mean "law enforcement?"
#614 8/31/17
Nikki: Do you have a poop?
Johnny: No.
Nikki: Do you HAVE to poop? You have really gross toots.
Johnny: Nope I don't have to and yes I do, I'm very sorry but I still love you though.
#613 8/29/17
Nikki: This guy's so annoying. He thinks he's 14 but he's actually like 77.
#612 8/07/17
Pearl: Netflix has movies
#611 8/03/17
[Turning onto Vimy Rd in Port Colborne]
Johnny: Dad, this is called wiggling woods because the trees are wiggling. Trees are wood. I want to call them whistling woods but the birds don't want to listen to me.
#610 7/24/17
Miklos: Has he found the Rudi yet?
Nikki: He never does. I'd rather you eat it than him. What chance do you have of being healthy compared to him?
Miklos: 100%.
[Bites into a Rudi chocolate bar wrapped in white bread]
#609 7/05/17
Miklos: Is it "Tobermory" or "Toby-mory"?
Nikki: Yeah, it's "Toby-mory".
#608 6/21/17
(After waiting in a drive thru on the way to work)
Alex: ffs train
Curtis: Dafuq? Which Tims do you go to?
Alex: McDonalds
#607 5/26/17
Nikki: Did you know that they're selling eyebrows now? Like real human eyebrows? You just stick them on. People are paying for eyebrows like mine.
Miklos: Do you think they would pay for eyebrows like mine?
Nikki: Maybe if they were on a movie set...
#606 4/11/17
[while looking at #princessrico photos on instagram]
Miklos: Rico's a girl's name?
Nikki: Could be. Anything goes now. Trump is f'n president.
#605 4/02/17
[Miklos queues up a Susan Sarandon-narrated Youtube video at the lunch table]
Nikki: Can we just have a lunch without Susan Sarandon?
#604 2/06/17
Alex: I've never seen the Wizard of Oz but what's the point of watching it? I already know there's a scarecrow, a tin man, and a wolf man. What else is there to know?!
#603 2/01/17
Nikki: I don't even roll my eyes at your pun posts
Nikki: I think my eyes just vibrate in place as if they did a full roll to save time
#602 10/24/16
Pearl: Did you say praise the lord?
Jess: ....? No
Pearl: What did you say?
Jess: Train's still going
#601 9/26/16
(Backing out of a driveway onto a highway)
Pearl: What am I gonna hit?
*Curtis looks around briefly and sees nothing*
Pearl: The road, Jack!
#600 9/23/16
Pearl: What's Icelandic for GPS?
Curtis: What does GPS even stand for in English?
Pearl: (after some thought) General Purpose Stuff?
#599 9/05/16
Curtis: Why did No Frills take their sign down?
Pearl: Because they have frills now
#598 6/14/16
Nikki: Do you have to pee or anything? I have to wash my hair.
#597 6/13/16
Miklos: Hol van a távirányító?
Nikki: I heard Dorito. And yes. A thousand times yes.
#596 5/31/16
Curtis: I kinda hate Cogeco's new beta website
Curtis: *Provides link*
Alex: Oh yeah, me too - there's a lot of work they'd still need to do
Alex: For example, a complete overhaul
#595 5/27/16
Nikki: the Twitter notifications are non-stop. This is like being Snoop Dogg's son's cousin. But not the blood-related one.
#594 5/16/16
[Looking at an alphabet book with Johnny]
Miklos: They put 4 letters on one screen? Okay...
Nikki: They're called pages, by the way.
#593 5/02/16
Alex: Don't you like that Baxo guy? He tells it like it is.
Well..he tells it like he'd like it to be.
#592 4/10/16
Pearl: Would it look weird if I stuck my nose in your exhaust pipe?
#591 3/27/16
Michelle: damn walking dead... who the heck eats an apple when they first get up in the morning
Miklos: sounds pretty unrealistic... in a show about zombies.
#590 3/19/16
Jessica: I have to peeee!
Mikkel: You know, you can do something about that.
Jessica: No, I can't! I don't have a "peenis"!
#589 3/19/16
Alex: Soirée. Doesn't that sound fancy?
Jessica: No, it sounds French.
#588 3/18/16
*Alex falls asleep reading something on Jessica's phone*
Jessica: Can I have my phone back if you're gonna fall asleep?
Alex: Yeah, just pull the cord.
*Jessica pulls the cord and it gets stuck*
Alex: Ahh! That's my face!
#587 2/13/16
Nikki: Some people have a weird confidence. Those people are usually less talented than me.
#586 1/17/16
Alex: Thank god we have seats at the concert tonight. I sat for so long today that I don't feel like standing anymore
#583 10/27/15
Miklos: You know the years before they had like 18 cameras filming... how did they know who was safe and who wasn't? Who actually won all those old World Series?
Nikki: Not me.
#582 10/18/15
(Random interruption after Jessica is talking to Alex for 5 minutes)
Alex: Okay I'm having a brain fart. What was Clinton's first name?
#581 10/18/15
Alex: Justin Trudeau: you may think he's shifty but everything he says is "True-deau."
Jessica: Where do you come up with this stuff?
Alex: Out of my own head.
Alex: Do you use Pillbury when you bake?
Jessica: No..
Alex: Because that's the only true dough.
#580 8/14/15
Brian: What's the date today? 13?
Alex: Thursday the 13th.
Brian: So tomorrow's Friday the 13th.
Alex: umm...
#579 7/26/15
Pearl: I'm lost. Well not really lost - I know where we are and I know where we need to be, I just can't connect the two
#578 7/21/15
Pearl: First we need to get off on Victoria... poor Victoria
#577 7/09/15
[after 45 minutes backing up a folder, Windows 8 pops up an error message]
Nikki: 'Catastrophic failure' ...!
Miklos: Only you.
#576 7/08/15
Curtis: Come across any memorable humour recently in agents of shield?
Alex: Oh a lot
Curtis: Share 3 with me so I can reminisce
Alex: I'd have to remember
#572 6/09/15
Brian: He does nothing on the computer apart from the few things he does
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