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#660 10/22/18
Miklos: "Wow. Look at all the geese in that field!"
Johnny: "I saw that on my way home from school. I guess whoever lives there has invited all their goose friends. They have 12 brothers, and 100 sisters!"
#659 10/20/18
Miklos: Johnny beat me at Trouble. He sent me back to the beginning twice.
Johnny: Yep! So let's call that game 'Trouble for Miklos.'
#658 9/09/18
Johnny: Wanna be bad guys?
Miklos: Sure.
Johnny: Ok. Let’s go bad the day up.
Miklos: Bad the day up? What does that mean?
Johnny: When we go over there, the day’s gonna be so angry at us.
#657 9/09/18
Johnny: Let’s go shoot the day!
Nikki: Shoot the day?
Johnny: Shoot the day means save the day — with GUNS!!
Nikki: What are you, American?
#656 9/05/18
[reading a cleaning tutorial]
Nikki: This person sure likes Pine Sol to clean things.
Miklos: Wouldn't that get sticky?
Nikki: It's Pine Sol, not pine sap
#655 9/02/18
Nikki: you don’t want to be a helicopter parent.
Miklos: I wouldn’t say helicopter... I'd say more like a chinook.. two rotors..
#654 8/22/18
Johnny: Oh, look! A checkmark! Of geese!
#653 8/22/18
Johnny: The vine bridge is open all the time and when I have to poop the bridge closes fast so I don’t poop myself. And when the poo touches it it’s very sharp; that’s when I know I have to poop. The when I am pooping it sloooowly opens to let the poop out.
#652 8/16/18
Curtis: Next season of Santa Clarita Diet will probably be in April
Pearl: Dammit. I can’t wait till September
Curtis: What? Why?
Pearl: Because it’s closer to April
#651 8/15/18
Alex: oh well as long as i can get to sex.com that's all that matters.
#650 8/04/18
Johnny: Dad, when bad people die that’s good. Because when bad people die they aren’t alive anymore.
Miklos: Oh? And why is that good?
Johnny: Because when bad people die they are dead. And they can’t do bad things anymore.
Miklos: Where did you learn this from?
Johnny: From my brain.
#649 8/04/18
[driving by a funeral home]
Johnny: Dad, why is that funeral guy there?
Miklos: There is a funeral going on right now.
Johnny: A funeral? Why?
Miklos: Yes, there are funerals all the time. You know, people die every day, it’s just a part of life.
Johnny: Funerals are so embarrassing.
Miklos: Embarrassing? Why?
Johnny: Because. You just sit there. And it’s embarrassing.
Miklos: It’s not embarrassing, it’s sad.
Johnny: It’s sad and embarrassing.
#648 7/19/18
Alex: You know, there is probably a universe out there where the keyboard types on us
#647 7/05/18
Johnny: We're trying to fix the robot arm. This one. It fell off. [Goes into a kitchen drawer, finds a small screwdriver.] This will do! This will do the thing.
#646 6/17/18
(After popping a balloon)
Pircsi: You’re killing them
Miklos: No, I’m murdering them
#645 5/26/18
[Pircsi playing a board game with Johnny, he keeps rolling the dice onto his pieces knocking them out of place]
Pircsi: you’re never going to win if you keep doing that
Johnny: I’m going to win because I’m cheating
#644 4/26/18
Alex: Everyone seems to be driving like an idiot today and it's just torture.
Jessica: To be fair, the speed limit is 40 here.
Alex: I don't care about speed limits. I care about MY limits.
#643 4/20/18
*After listening to voicemail from parents*
Curtis: I'd better call them back now, seems important
Pearl: Why, what did they say?
Curtis: "Please call us back, it's important"
#642 4/01/18
Johnny: Dad, when I'm eating Nutella and breadsticks and you hit a bump, the breadstick breaks. So one day, on our way home from Mamo's, you might want to try to go slower.
#641 3/25/18
Miklos: So who do you play with at school?
Johnny: Logan, Audrey, Liam, Pogey...
Miklos: Pogey?
Johnny: Pogey lived on Jupiter but moved to Earth to go to my preschool.
#640 3/22/18
Nikki: Ouch, my knee! I mean my elbow. My arm-knee.
#637 3/15/18
Nikki: What the fuck. Did you see that commercial?? Chocolate pizza? Why the...
Miklos: The Lock [pizza shop] is doing that too.
Nikki: ...it's a good idea.
#635 3/11/18
Johnny: Mom, what's this song called?
Nikki: Your mom. Oh great, I'm saying your mom to my own son now.
#633 3/03/18
Tom: Mr Maj and Gyula were coming back from Fort Erie race track and were drunk. Gyula crashed the car (into a ditch or bridge or something) when the cop came Mr Maj did the talking and said "I don't know what happened officer. Gyula, he good driver...he vas driving, then chooo chooo chooo chooo poof." No charges.
#630 1/19/18
[brushing the cat]
Nikki: Okay, this is getting risky. I can't do this anymore.
Miklos: Why?
[cat bites Nikki]
Nikki: OW! Because she bit me!
Miklos: That was a love bite.
Nikki: Yeah, well I don't love bites!
#629 12/29/17
Miklos: It's called Weir Road.
Johnny: Weir Road.
Miklos: Not 'Weird' Road.
Johnny: I DIDN'T SAY Weird Road. I said Weir Road!
Miklos: Okay, sorry.
Johnny: ... Heh, but it is a funny, weird road.
#628 12/22/17
[During a quiet moment while eating lunch after the dog's toenail broke, spurting blood everywhere, following a morning of other small disasters]
Johnny: Mom... I think it's time we sell this house.
#627 12/10/17
Johnny: Dad, what makes my fingers move?
Miklos: Your brain
Johnny: My brain???
Miklos: Yes, it controls everything!
Johnny: Even my toes? My hands? My mouth?
Miklos: Yes, everything.
Johnny: That’s funny. Dad?
Miklos: Yes?
Johnny: What’s a brain?
#626 12/02/17
Nikki: Wow, it's taking a long time to turn onto this street.
Johnny: Uhh YEAH... King Street is a really busy street.
#625 12/02/17
Johnny: Mommy, thanks for giving me my sucker. It's got a beautiful taste.
#624 11/26/17
[playing Mario Kart]
Johnny: Why is his name Bowser dad?
Miklos: I don’t know, why is this guy’s name Mario?
Johnny: Because! His mother named him Mario when he was a baby!
#623 11/18/17
Johnny: Can you make me a real motorcycle dad?
Miklos: How do I do that?
Johnny: Just use the tools in the shed. It’ll make it easier.
#622 11/06/17
Jessica: He's a man of many few words... Many few?
Pearl: And she's not even 1/4 of the way through her wine yet.
#620 10/13/17
Curtis: So if memory serves me right, Spinney might be around Hamilton for sushi on Friday or Monday
Alex: And if the waitresses serve us right, we should get everything we ordered
#619 9/17/17
[while running to the bathroom]
Johnny: Pause this, I have to go poo!
#618 9/11/17
Johnny: Dad is this Toyota expensive?
Dad: Yeah it'd be expensive if you were to buy it on your own.
Johnny: Dad, you can buy it with me any time you want.
#617 9/09/17
Miklos: [9:45PM, to Nikki] It's wine forty-five.
#616 9/06/17
Johnny: What's a king? Does a king have a crown?
Dad: Yes a king has a crown.
Johnny: What does a queen have?
Dad: A crown too but a smaller one.
Johnny: Isn't that called a tiara?
Dad: Yes, how do you know that word?
Johnny: I know EVERY word!
Dad: Is that right?
Johnny: Yes, a tiara.
#615 9/05/17
Miklos: "Reinforcements." [Reinforcement labels, for paper] That was one of the first words I learned in English.
Rob: You mean "law enforcement?"
#614 8/31/17
Nikki: Do you have a poop?
Johnny: No.
Nikki: Do you HAVE to poop? You have really gross toots.
Johnny: Nope I don't have to and yes I do, I'm very sorry but I still love you though.
#613 8/29/17
Nikki: This guy's so annoying. He thinks he's 14 but he's actually like 77.
#612 8/07/17
Pearl: Netflix has movies
#611 8/03/17
[Turning onto Vimy Rd in Port Colborne]
Johnny: Dad, this is called wiggling woods because the trees are wiggling. Trees are wood. I want to call them whistling woods but the birds don't want to listen to me.
#610 7/24/17
Miklos: Has he found the Rudi yet?
Nikki: He never does. I'd rather you eat it than him. What chance do you have of being healthy compared to him?
Miklos: 100%.
[Bites into a Rudi chocolate bar wrapped in white bread]
#609 7/05/17
Miklos: Is it "Tobermory" or "Toby-mory"?
Nikki: Yeah, it's "Toby-mory".
#608 6/21/17
(After waiting in a drive thru on the way to work)
Alex: ffs train
Curtis: Dafuq? Which Tims do you go to?
Alex: McDonalds
#607 5/26/17
Nikki: Did you know that they're selling eyebrows now? Like real human eyebrows? You just stick them on. People are paying for eyebrows like mine.
Miklos: Do you think they would pay for eyebrows like mine?
Nikki: Maybe if they were on a movie set...
#606 4/11/17
[while looking at #princessrico photos on instagram]
Miklos: Rico's a girl's name?
Nikki: Could be. Anything goes now. Trump is f'n president.
#605 4/02/17
[Miklos queues up a Susan Sarandon-narrated Youtube video at the lunch table]
Nikki: Can we just have a lunch without Susan Sarandon?
#604 2/06/17
Alex: I've never seen the Wizard of Oz but what's the point of watching it? I already know there's a scarecrow, a tin man, and a wolf man. What else is there to know?!
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