Lucas: LMFAO just got off the stage. My camera gear is covered in champagne showers!
Miklos: that's nothing to laugh about

[Reading Mansion House sign]
Nikki: Ooh, "The Captain is coming"!
Miklos: What about Tennille?
Nikki: I don't know what that is.
Miklos: What? Captain and Tennille. Am I that old?
Nikki: Well, it finally happened. You referenced something that's too old for me to understand.

Miklos: What year is this movie from? 1997? That's... 25 years!
Nikki: No it isn't. Not by any kind of math, anyway.

[pointing at a mole on her jawline]
Nikki: Has this always been there?
Miklos: I've never seen it.
Nikki: Really? It just showed up? Is it cancer?
Miklos: It's not cancer. It's been there forever.

[While Alex and Miklos are talking to each other, Curtis thinks he hears his name which didn't actually happen]
Curtis: Hmm? What are you talking about?
[They fill him in on the subject]
Curtis: Ah, so how am I involved in this?
Miklos: ......you interjected yourself into the conversation

Nikki: [talking to the TV] Your credit card didn't go through because you spend too much money...
Miklos: [looking at phone] No, it's because I couldn't remember my PIN because I haven't used it in so long.
Nikki: Not you, the girl on TV.
Miklos: [still not paying attention] Ohh, me.
Nikki: NO, NOT you. The girl on TV!

Miklos: How many people googled Rod Iron and then clicked images and then swore never to tell anyone? Come on now, be honest.

[Miklos making breakfast in the kitchen, Nikki feeding Johnny in the living room]
Nikki: Is pee ok, spider?
Miklos: What??
Nikki: Is pee ok, spider? In your native language.
Miklos: Oh! P-ó-k! Yeah that's spider... I would've never guessed what the hell you were talking about if you didn't say "native language".

Nikki: There's something called No-Nails. It's good for wiggly bannisters and stuff.
Miklos: Is it like a tape?
Nikki: No, it's like a caulk ...
[Realizes what that sounded like]
Both: ........

Nikki: Did you know an aneurysm can just happen at any time? We could be talking right now and one of us could have an aneurysm and end up dead.
[Miklos, sipping from a glass, dribbles milk onto his shirt]
Nikki: Whoops...
Miklos: Looks like I'm well on my way.
Nikki: That was more of a stroke.

miklos: [on dating a nerd] Once you go slacks, you never go back.

Nikki: Why do guys scratch their balls and then sniff their hands?
Miklos: I don't know? That's how monkeys do it.
Nikki: Like what are you gonna do based on the smells? "Ok.. I gotta now go make lunch..." or "This tells me that 2 days ago I had cabbage."

Nikki: I have a sunburn on my wrist even though I was wearing a watch.
Miklos: I have the opposite.
Nikki: A moonburn?

Miklos: Pogacsa's all gone. Marek ate most of it.
Nikki: Do they have pogacsa in Poland?
Miklos: I don't think so.
Nikki: Really? They love potatoes. By that I mean that I've seen one war-time movie where all they had to eat was potatoes.

[Entering the living room after a nap, noticing]
Nik: You still have tea! Probably ice tea by now.
Miklos: Room tea
Nik: Soon it will be emp-tea.

(while driving past the Little Caesar's sign-swinging guy currently moving the sign like a steering wheel)
Miklos: [in a sad fading voice] "I'm driving you awaaayy..."

Miklos: that guy [down the street] has a hook for a hand
Nikki: do you think he's crazy?
Miklos: he's got a hook for a hand! He could've chosen something that looks like a hand... but he chose a hook!

Miklos: the dogs smell like bugles

Curtis: It's minus 17 outside
Miklos: It's minus fn shit!

Miklos: How am I at 9300 steps already today? Oh right, I was hammering.
Nikki: Why are you wearing that (Fitbit) on your dominant hand anyway? You hammer with it, you write with it. Why not just put it on your non-dominant hand [like they tell you to]? Because [name withheld] made a comment on your watch and Fitbit picture? 'OH NO, don't wear it on your non-dominant hand with your watch! They won't get along! They're going to fight! Your watch is going to cry! It's not modern enough for the Fitbit!' I don't think so. Go away, [name withheld], I don't even know you.