Johnny: Don't make me do boring stuff. I like doing cute stuff.
Miklos: Boring stuff. Like what?
Johnny: Like talking too much, or bringing in your iced coffee, or making you have to stop being on your phone all the time. That's it.
Miklos: And what about the cute stuff?
Johnny: That's like doing things I like... or like when mommy sings me a song.

Johnny: Don't look at me like that.
Nikki: Like what?
Johnny: Like an egg salad sandwich.

[While driving on the highway; a tow truck worker pulls over and gets out of his car to walk up to a police car pulled over ahead of him]
Johnny: Somehow a tow truck driver pulled over a policeman!

Johnny: How do you make that salad dressing?
Nikki: I don't know, I kind of just put whatever ingredients I like in and hope for the best.
Johnny: Yeah! You can do that. You don't have to follow a recipe. You can make your own! Nobody will call the cops. The cops don't mind! The government's not going to stop you! The government runs the world but they won't tell you what to put in your salad dressing!

Miklos: I'll be flying through those clouds soon. Eh John? When you're flying in a plane sometimes you're even above the clouds. You look down and you can see them. I'll take a picture and send it for you to see.
[Johnny smacks his head]
Johnny: Oh my gosh, that's so weird I think I'm gonna throw up. That's bizarre.

Johnny: Some people’s ears wobble.
Nikki: Wobble? What do you mean?
Johnny: Did I go to a funeral once? I’m guessing I did. At the funeral there was an old lady and her ears wobbled.

Johnny: HAHA! I did two toots the same, and one different, Mommy! It's so FUNNY, isn't it?! [exaggerated laughing for approximately 20 seconds] My toots are the BEST!

Papo: Haha! That's so stupid.
Johnny: HEY! I was having a fun time until you said a swear word!

Miklos: "Wow. Look at all the geese in that field!"
Johnny: "I saw that on my way home from school. I guess whoever lives there has invited all their goose friends. They have 12 brothers, and 100 sisters!"

Miklos: Johnny beat me at Trouble. He sent me back to the beginning twice.
Johnny: Yep! So let's call that game 'Trouble for Miklos.'

Johnny: Wanna be bad guys?
Miklos: Sure.
Johnny: Ok. Let’s go bad the day up.
Miklos: Bad the day up? What does that mean?
Johnny: When we go over there, the day’s gonna be so angry at us.

Johnny: Let’s go shoot the day!
Nikki: Shoot the day?
Johnny: Shoot the day means save the day — with GUNS!!
Nikki: What are you, American?

Johnny: Oh, look! A checkmark! Of geese!

Johnny: The vine bridge is open all the time and when I have to poop the bridge closes fast so I don’t poop myself. And when the poo touches it it’s very sharp; that’s when I know I have to poop. Then when I am pooping it sloooowly opens to let the poop out.

Johnny: Dad, when bad people die that’s good. Because when bad people die they aren’t alive anymore.
Miklos: Oh? And why is that good?
Johnny: Because when bad people die they are dead. And they can’t do bad things anymore.
Miklos: Where did you learn this from?
Johnny: From my brain.

[driving by a funeral home]
Johnny: Dad, why is that funeral guy there?
Miklos: There is a funeral going on right now.
Johnny: A funeral? Why?
Miklos: Yes, there are funerals all the time. You know, people die every day, it’s just a part of life.
Johnny: Funerals are so embarrassing.
Miklos: Embarrassing? Why?
Johnny: Because. You just sit there. And it’s embarrassing.
Miklos: It’s not embarrassing, it’s sad.
Johnny: It’s sad and embarrassing.

Johnny: We're trying to fix the robot arm. This one. It fell off. [Goes into a kitchen drawer, finds a small screwdriver.] This will do! This will do the thing.

[Pircsi playing a board game with Johnny, he keeps rolling the dice onto his pieces knocking them out of place]
Pircsi: you’re never going to win if you keep doing that
Johnny: I’m going to win because I’m cheating

Johnny: Dad, when I'm eating Nutella and breadsticks and you hit a bump, the breadstick breaks. So one day, on our way home from Mamo's, you might want to try to go slower.

Miklos: So who do you play with at school?
Johnny: Logan, Audrey, Liam, Pogey...
Miklos: Pogey?
Johnny: Pogey lived on Jupiter but moved to Earth to go to my preschool.