Displaying results for Miklos, Miki.

#783 · May 23
Miklos: When I was little [in Hungary] our neighbour came over and I offered her some of my cream of wheat, but then she slowly kept eating it until she finished it all.
John: [patting Miklos' shoulder] That's OK dad, you have bigger problems now.
#779 · Mar 27
Miklos: [as he walked up behind John] Sorry, did I scare you?
John: Yeah, you walked up to me really loud. I was like "oh god, what's _he_ got?"
#777 · Mar 16
John: [moving closer to Miklos] I want to watch you do Wordle.
Miklos: Why?
John: Because it's satisfying to watch you lose.
#776 · Feb 27
Miklos: I use big words at work sometimes.
John: Why?
Miklos: I like to think it makes me sound smarter.
John: Well I am just flabbergasted.
#775 · Jan 28
[watching Wheel of Fortune, one of the contestant's name is Gary]
Miklos: Wow, a young guy named Gary.
John: Yeah, I always think of Garys as old grumpy men with less fingers than they need.
#774 · Jan 27
[John talking, Miklos not paying attention]
Miklos: Sorry, I was just thinking about the dashboard. It's a work of art.
John: Why is it a work of art?
Miklos: Because it tells people a lot of information in a simple way.
John: [examining the monitor] Oh.. but where's the power button? [shuts monitor off]
Miklos: So you're just gonna turn the monitor off?
John: Yeah I don't care.
#771 · Dec 30, 2021
Nikki: Oh what's that? In that tree!
Johnny: they're buds!
Nikki: No, they're fruit! What kind of tree is that?
Miklos: a partridge
Nikki: a partridge is a bird
Miklos: well what's the opposite of that?
Nikki: the opposite of a partridge?? There isn't an opposite of a bird. I think you're thinking of a pear tree.
Miklos: No, what's the tree version of a partridge?
#764 · Nov 6, 2021
Miklos: Holy, that tablet is slow.
Johnny: Yes, but it's ok I've gotten used to being patient.
Mamo: It's because it's full of games. You should delete some of them. And maybe also clear some points or money or whatever.
Miklos: Cache? [Spells it out.]
Mamo: I guess? Whatever? What is that?
Johnny: It's stored things on your device, Mamo.
#763 · Oct 20, 2021
Nikki: Do you think she has a brain?
Miklos: Well, something's gotta be making her heart beat...
#755 · Sep 16, 2021
Nikki: Maybe you should learn the languages of the places you go to.
Miklos: I don't need to because they're learning mine.
Nikki: That's a very American statement.
#746 · Apr 27, 2021
[Miklos cuffed John's jeans because they were a bit too long]
John: What. Now I look like Santa.
Miklos: No, no... This is a style. [shows him photos on the internet]
John: I'm fixing them. You took a perfectly good pair of jeans and made them look ridiculous.
#745 · Apr 10, 2021
Miklos: If each month is 4 weeks long, how many months is 5 weeks?
Johnny: A month and a quarter.
Miklos: How do you know?
Johnny: Because I know that 4+1 is 5.
Miklos: Yeah, but I mean...
Johnny: Ugh, I don't feel like explaining.
#743 · Apr 3, 2021
Miklos: shhh....
Johnny: Sorry, but you're going to have to deal with it. I'm drawing on a balloon with a Sharpie, it's going to be squeaky.
#742 · Mar 23, 2021
[Miklos wrote some poems]
asparagus pee
so pungent to my nostrils
I cannot stand it
------------------------------
trimmed my beard today
a splinter in my finger
from a stray chin hair
------------------------------
thanks to John's comics
I sit here and write Haikus
on a Monday night
#739 · Feb 28, 2021
Johnny: Dad, imagine I invented a saying?
Miklos: A saying?
Johnny: Yeah.. like... "The toaster never talks."
#737 · Feb 10, 2021
Johnny: Who are you guys talking about?
Miklos: Prince.
Johnny: Who's that?
Nikki: Prince was one of the greatest musicians of his ti--
Johnny: One question -- cat, or human?
#736 · Feb 7, 2021
Johnny: You're an apple orchard!
Miklos: Yeah? What kind of apples?
Johnny: ROTTEN APPLES!
#735 · Feb 5, 2021
Sanyi: The new "BC" is going to be "before covid".
Miklos: Calendar reset in 2020. This is year 1.
Miklos: I was born in 39 BC.
#734 · Jan 10, 2021
Johnny: Dad, do you know what blur is?
Miklos: Tell me.
Johnny: Blur is the tiny little squares that form a picture in a camera not lining up properly.
Miklos: Oh yeah? Who taught you that?
Johnny: Nobody. I'm just that smart of a 6-year-old, and yes, it is very smart for a 6-year-old.
#733 · Jan 9, 2021
Miklos: Ew. Is that garbage?
Nikki: John, did you fart?
Johnny: NO! It's this TOWN!
[Nikki rolls down window]
Johnny: [panicking] You're just letting it in, Mom!!
320 quotes found for Miklos, Miki