Orbit1: if you'd apply yourself you'd probably have vast deep knowledge of some important topic like say... physics OR you might speak like 12 languages
Orbit1: but instead you know how to build gimmicky web junk
Orbit1: i applaud you sir
Orbit1: /golfclap
miklos: up yours

(Miklos fighting marketing devil that was presenting the new all-in-one iMac on Apple's site)
Miklos: Wow.. I want one.. *pause* Man.. I'm stupid. I gotta close this site down. I don't want nothing.
(Miklos: 1, Devil: 2940385)

Matt: Are you even looking for a job?
Alex: I have job. It's called being lazy. Doesn't pay well, but the benefits are great.

Miklos: AFTER washing dishes!
Alex: who's to say that's not already done?
Miklos: me
Alex: damn you good

Dave: You are on Miklos' quotes page
Jenna: Really, about what?
Dave: Yeah, the conversation we had about your blind turtle.
*Dave reads the quote to Jenna, and starts to laugh*
Jenna: It really isn't funny, would you still laugh if I said I had to put Emerald down?
Dave: You did?
Jenna: Not quite... I told you how we got rid of them
Dave: How?
Jenna: We sold them at a garage sale.
*Dave with more laughter*
Jenna: I'm glad that I can provide entertainment for you.

(Side note: accounting printer, water cooler and entrance to washrooms are all within about 5 feet of each other.)
Miklos: Check out what I found by the accounting printer
Matt: A pen?
Miklos: Yeah, it's nice.. Try it..
Matt: I don't want to.
Some time passes, I'd say about 10-15 minutes... Matt goes to the washroom, and after coming back:
Matt: Where did you find that pen?
Miklos: By the accounting printer.. why?
Matt: What were you doing there?
Miklos: I don't know.. oh! Refilling my water bottle. .. Hrm.. where IS my water bottle?
(Matt laughing)
Miklos: Shit! I left it there. Man, I didn't even use the washroom.
Matt: So you just went to get bottle refilled, got distracted by something shiny, put the bottle down on the cooler, forgot about it and came back?
Miklos: Yeah and I guess I just kept working...

Dave: my little story takes place at a tropical villa
Dave: i fell in love with a flavour, yes it was vanilla
Dave: miiiiiiinnnnnnnniiiiiiiiii wheats wheats wheats i wanted vanilla for so long
Dave: mini wheats wheats, wheats, it's high in fiber you can't go wrong
Dave: vanilla flavour mixed with wheat put it together it can't be beat
Dave: vanilla flavour mixed with wheat tastes so good, what a treat
Dave: new vanilla mini wheats cereal!!!
Dave: tastes so good good good!
Dave: good advertisement like that actually works
Miklos: are you saying it does work?
Dave: yeah, definitely, do you want mini wheats after reading my jingle
Dave: ?
Miklos: as a matter of fact, yes.

Miklos: Hi, I picked up the iMac this morning, the one that was having the power issues?
Mac Outpost: Yep...
Miklos: Well now I noticed that when I eject the CD, it doesn't let it out gently, it spits it out entirely...
Mac Outpost: Yeah that's the problem with those things... sometimes they're too powerful.
Miklos: So.. what can I do then?
Mac Outpost: I dunno... Catch it?

Peter: And you know what I'm going to make with your flash?
Miklos: Pictures?
Peter: A career.

Tom: Hey Dave, You'll never guess what I'm doing this weekend.
Dave: What?
Tom: Well, I'm going to our CIO's Barbeque!
Dave: You have got to be shitting me.
Tom: No, I'm serious, I JUST found out that my wife works with his wife and that is how I got invited.
Dave: Sounds like you finally got a shot at management.
Tom: Yep, I'm going to cook him up a hot dog and maybe he'll be like "wow this guy has potential."
Dave: The only way that a person in his position will see potential in someone for a management would be if you completely screwed up. My advise is to burn the shit out of the hot dog and hand it to him... actually, you said CIO right?
Tom: heh, yeah.
Dave: Then you would get farther handing him a piece of cut up garden hose and calling that a hot dog! Now, that is management material.

miklos: what about all the permalinks out there that linked to orbit dailyphotos?
Orbit1: they won't work
Orbit1: thankfully
miklos: haha
Orbit1: yeah i got some emails recently asking me where they could find a bunch of stupid crap
miklos: are you mad at the world?
Orbit1: 'i was told to come to this site for blah blah blah, do you know how i can reach this info blah blah?'
Orbit1: no just foreign weirdos that are trying to find out how to make long exposures or homemade lenses
Orbit1: dude i used to have like 5-10 stupid emails a day asking me questions i've already answered to people
Orbit1: i have a [shitty point and shoot camera], when i go out and take pictures at night they're all grainy and don't turn out how do you keep your shutter open so long
Orbit1: my camera only goes to 30 seconds
Orbit1: how do you create those film borders in photoshop can you send me the action?
Orbit1: how do you make your grain look so real in photoshop?
Orbit1: i tried to use the grain filter but it doesn't look the same
Orbit1: what scanner do you use
Orbit1: how are you scanning your borders with the film
Orbit1: what tripod do you recommend
miklos: so you got annoyed with the world :)
Orbit1: i have an old [insert old 70s 35mm slr here] and i'd like to shoot film, what film is the best?
miklos: i asked you all those questions!
Orbit1: LOL
miklos: except the photoshop action to get film borders
miklos: can you send me them?
Orbit1: you wouldn't believe how many people think i add those in photoshop... i get emails about that a lot
Orbit1: people are stupid
Orbit1: i don't even respond

Dave: It drives me nuts how these so called adults (people over 30) are all into facebook and talk about it like little teenie-boppers. "I added you to my favourites".... facebook is actually a virtual frat club.
Miklos: everyone and their brother is on facebook
Dave: I'm not, are you?
Miklos: no

Alex: miklos
Alex: grab me
...
Alex: Harry Potter - Order of the Phoenix
Miklos: Oh, the enter key was a semicolon...
Miklos: and not a period

Peter: A not so tiny spider, climbed up my table's leg
Peter: Then came me, and smashed the spider's head
Peter: The spider screamed, but I don't really care,
Peter: It's my room, so it shouldn't be there

miklos: man, on the way home from the island i took the 407
miklos: and i got the bill for it today
miklos: $17.28 ... $11.38 - toll charges, $3.55 - video toll charge, $2.35 - account fee
miklos: first off
miklos: I didn't ask them to take a video photo of me
miklos: secondly, i didn't ask them to put me in their stupid database
dave: that is bs
miklos: for 67km of highway use
miklos: i accept charges for using the highway
miklos: but the technology they use to track me to send me my bill should be free of charge, and not come out of my pocket ...
dave: i'm surprised that it didn't say.... 59cents for the stamp... 25 cents for the envelope... 10 cents for the paper and 5 cents for the ink... and a folding/licking fee
dave: hehe this is like a bad mastercard commercial
dave: and being ripped off for using a provincial highway that originally took tax dollars to build: priceless
dave: there's some things money can't buy.... for everything else...

miklos: I JUST SAW SOMETHING NEAT
miklos: 5 jets in the sky
miklos: spelling out
miklos: GREAT RATES - GEICO.COM
miklos: i got some pics, one sec...
miklos: haha man that was neat. it got the entire department looking, and i almost fell out of the window from the 4th floor trying to take a picture
miklos: i sent it to the tribune
dave: keep it up
dave: you might get a job
miklos: dave your sarcasm cuts deep
miklos: scars me for life
dave: that wasn't sarcasm... I was referring to risking your life for a picture... i guess you have a social esteem issue

miklos: you've been daghed
miklos: oooh a web 2.0 catch phrase
miklos: of my own
miklos: *heart*
alec: daghed. the opposite of digged
miklos: yeah... there you go...
miklos: at the one end of the spectrum, people seem to care.. at the other... not so much

miklos: this site has some sexy code behind it
alec: yeah?
miklos: yeah object oriented
miklos: which means "plug and play" modules
alec: um. yeah.
alec: All my subheads for this nursing migration annual report have to follow a theme of global credibility.
miklos: hmm
alec: ZACKly
alec: so is that the object oriented whoozie whatsit you're talking about?
miklos: say what?
alec: huh?
alec: is this thing on?
alec: HELLO...HELLO...Testing 123.
miklos: object oriented to a webpage is like dead silence to a copywriter. only the opposite...

Dave: jesus!
Dave: that is stupid
Dave: stupid crazy
Miklos: This world is hilarious
Dave: I don't know if you have taken a step forward or a step backward... mainly because the world is stupid... everywhere you go, everywhere you look there is idiots, even in commercials (the manufacturers aim towards lower IQ individuals) because they are the majority. I used to find it hilarious, now it irritates me like a plague...
Miklos: idiocracy
Dave: exactly
Dave: it is true though... just watch the commercials
Dave: and you know what the really bad part is?
Miklos: i don't watch tv
Miklos: what's that
Dave: canada is actually above average
Dave: which means, other countries are like the cats in the clip you just sent me
Miklos: nah man you're just growing up
Dave: yeah we have... when will everyone else?

(Landfill was closed, alternately Alex and Paul randomly threw wood off the truck on some back roads...)
Paul: The best solution to pollution is dilution.

Alex: wtf
Alex: why is mom and dad's phone busy
Alex: who could they possibly be on the phone with
Miklos: anyone
Alex: haha
Miklos: what a silly question
Alex: i guess it was wasn't it

Jenna: Yeah, I had a turtle once, but she went blind
*Dave starts to laugh*
Jenna: What are you laughing at, it isn't funny
Dave: It was probably how you said it... So, how did you know that it went blind?
Jenna: Well, SHE wouldn't eat her food, she would just swim into it.
*Dave starts laughing again*
Jenna: And my brother's turtle was getting fat because he was eating my turtle's food.
*Dave still laughing*
Jenna: Why must you laugh at ALL of my previous pets?

Miklos: I helped Dave get his boat license... Do you want yours? I'm in the mood to give.
Matt: Alright, get out your credit card, let's do it, if you're really in the mood to give.
Miklos: Umm... Not that much.
Matt: So when you said you're in the mood to give you meant...
Miklos: Take.

Peter: You know what I'm waiting for? An Apple digital camera.
Peter: Where you can choose exactly what kind of picture you want ahead of time, and from a selection of pre-made photographs, it will copy it to your "Pictures you took Today" folder.
Peter: It won't have any lenses.
Peter: Just a giant dial.
Peter: And the entire back of the camera will be a 3-4-5" LCD.
Peter: Maybe it'll be a snow white camera, with just one giant transparent button that takes up the entire top of the camera.
Peter: And you can only copy your photos to your computer using iPhoto, and of course, in its own format, which Photoshop probably won't understand.
Peter: It'll have a 1TB built in Hard Drive.
Peter: Oh yeah, there will probably be a shuffle-size version. No LCD, just one button, a little lens and a USB connection.
Peter: Brave New iWorld.

miklos: my bum hurts
miklos: I tried something new this weekend
dave: oh my GOD
dave: i promised you I'd shoot you when this happens
miklos: yeah.. i rode my bicycle for like 4 hours
dave: ohhhhhhhhhh, your bike

m1: I have no idea why he's in this meeting. He has nothing to do with it.
m2: Well, did you tell the boss that?
m1: You can tell anyone anything until you're blue in the face, and they won't listen. They think they're right.
m2: Yeah
m1: And in the end what they think is good, ends up being not so good.
m2: Yeah.. so why _are_ we still here?
m1: Gravy.

Miklos: You know something's wrong with your job when "making puppies" seems like a chore...

Miklos: Hey look, that idiot has a lighthouse in his backyard!
Dave: That's an airport... and I believe that you're referring to the control tower.

(Side note: Some people say "this Monday" on a Friday, and actually mean the Monday coming up, not the Monday that just passed... When other people would think that the word "this" was reserved for the week they are on.)

miklos: i can't believe that it's friday already
miklos: this was a fassstt week
miklos: or .. next... was a this week?
miklos: er
miklos: i'm confused
dave: heheh
miklos: only 3 more days till 24
dave: is it a two hour
miklos: no
miklos: next week it is
miklos: :)
dave: this week?
miklos: next week
dave: :P
miklos: this week is over.
miklos: but this monday's still to come
dave: but this monday is in next week?
miklos: yep [...apparently]

alex: I have some bigger issues right now than to worry about my taxes.

miklos: I don't think I have ADD. ... Maybe I do have ADD... Hrm.. Nah, I can't have ADD.. Well, if ADD is...
dave: You've been talking about ADD for over a minute. You DON'T have ADD.

(Filling out the sheet at Moore's when we picked out the tuxedos for Dave's wedding, they asked for the time of the ceremony, dave put down "15h00")
Miklos: what's the H for? what are you? french?
Dave: no... it's military time.
Miklos: no, it's french time. We use colons. French people use H.
(...a while later, while driving, Dave looking it up on his blackberry...)
Dave: grrrrr
Miklos: what?
Dave: shut the f* up. I feel like punching you in the face. ALL MY LIFE... i've used H...

Alex: I'm constantly quotable, you know that.

Miklos: I blogged a little girl.
Matt: What does that MEAN!?!

(Coming back from the U.S., the lady in the car in front of us at the border was talking and looked like she was making hand motions as she talked.)
miklos: That lady looks like she's a mute.
dave: How can she be driving?
miklos: She's not deaf! ... ... *pause* ... or BLIND!

dave: shit miklos!
[hot chocolate falls]
miklos: is it all over the car?
dave: no my pants got the majority of it
miklos: there's some tissues in the glove box
dave: what is a tissue gonna do miklos?
dave: now if you have some shout....
dave: I could shout it out.
miklos: jesus... you're a breathing commercial.