Alex: I don't want to be a billionaire, I just want to be a comfortabillionaire.

Alex: wow where does time go?
Eric: by... i think

alex: I have some bigger issues right now than to worry about my taxes.

Pearl: There's two birds hanging out on that tree.
Alex: Where's the one stone?

Brian: It's almost like you have to watch that one with caps lock on.
Alex: You mean closed captioning?

(While approaching Jess with a bent straw)
Alex: Come here! Come here! I just want to put this up your nose!

Alex: I'm a modern day Romeo! I say it like it is and I fuck like I can't!
Jessica: Wait- what?

Curtis: I have Taylor Swift looping in my head again
Alex: Just shake it off

Alex: If I was videotaped, it wouldn't be a documentary. It would be an instructional video for the rest of mankind.

Alex: I think my sanity had an apocalypse. I just tried to order Wendy's at a Tim Hortons drive thru.

Curtis: We did it already
Alex: But I didn't explode
(Clearly referencing a request to fist bump)

Alex: Soirée. Doesn't that sound fancy?
Jessica: No, it sounds French.

[Passing a TomTom GPS system back and forth, standing beside each other]
Miklos: Look, there are 3 satellites by you, and 7 by me...
Alex: I'd be worried if I were you.

Alex: If I could somehow make an engine run by itself, which nobody has done yet you know because of the laws of physics and thermodynamics, it would be Nobel prize worthy for sure.

(While looking at a small triangular LED light)
Alex: How do they fit 3 AAA batteries into that?
Miklos: Probably ingeniously.

Curtis: well the sum 41 finger 11 concert was just cancelled
Alex: damnit, guess the numbers didn't add up

Dad: Steven Segal WASN'T a cop for 25 years?? Who can I trust anymore???
Alex: Not the SPIKE network!

Alex: If I lived in Fonthill I'd give streets names like Courier, Times New Roman Road, Arial Ave...

alex: man i just had an internal fart that vibrated me / sounded exactly like an incoming text message when the phone is set on vibrate