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#471 6/29/13
Dad: I'm smelling my bacon because it smells good. I don't wanna eat it because I don't need it.
#470 6/28/13
Nikki: I wish there was a feature in the car that said, "Welcome to the proper side of the road".
Miklos: It'd be called the Saturn Sarcasm.
Nikki: No, it'd be the... Automatic Wife.
#469 6/21/13
[Directed to Curtis after receiving dvds of downloaded tv shows numerous times from him in the past]
Tina: can you download tv shows on your pc?
#468 6/05/13
Nikki: are you reading this? [An informational sign on Flowerpot Island]
Miklos: no, I don't read... but I am taking a picture of it so that I can OCR scan it later and have the computer read it to me.
#467 5/20/13
[after counting down to Niagara Falls fireworks which happened to be synced with the atomic clock (according to Miklos' radio controlled watch)]
Miklos: I love that the falls fireworks were so on time last night
Miklos: Made me look like a damn gemius
#466 5/15/13
(When the opening band walked on stage during a concert)
Curtis: What's this band called?
Lyndsey: The Virgins
(Alex notices the band's appearance)
Alex: Yep, story checks out!
#465 3/29/13
Nikki: When I see those [large posters of people with their mouths open outside of a dental office], I want to take a picture that looks like someone's putting something in their mouth. Not a penis.
#464 3/29/13
Nikki: Hey you know what'd be a good way to freak someone out, if you weren't concerned about animal cruelty?
[long pause]
Miklos: Alright, nice setup... go on...
[long pause]
Nikki: ... put a bird in their car.
#463 2/12/13
[after waiting for cable tech to come all day]
Miklos: Oh look, the tech's out there on the wire.
Nikki: Ah, no!
Miklos: Oh wait, it's just a little squirrel.
[squirrel standing on wire, wiggling its tail]
#462 2/09/13
Nikki: Look at these pictures of these cats.
Nikki: Oh.. this [first] one is the snow outside, looks like a vagina..
Miklos: How?
Nikki: Shut up. Look at this cat picture.
#461 2/01/13
Nikki: people will put anything in anything
#460 1/07/13
[really long honk nextdoor]
Nikki: get out of the way, house!
#459 12/21/12
Alex: I think my sanity had an apocalypse. I just tried to order Wendy's at a Tim Hortons drive thru.
#458 12/21/12
[Facebook friend]: Walking home from Co-op with a granny cart and 3 bags of groceries with no gloves on when its -14 outside.....not my smartest moment. What should have taken 6 minutes to get home ended up taking 45 because I had to keep stopping and putting my hands in my jacket every 5 minutes to warm up. :(
Nikki: Wait, it should've taken 6 minutes... you stopped after 5 minutes... 1 minute left... stopped *brain explosion*
#457 12/19/12
miklos: I'm gonna be 32... that's like.. adult ages.
#456 12/18/12
Nikki: she's so strange
Nikki: then again i've been drawing wolves for 45 minutes
#455 12/12/12
miklos: nobody appreciates my humour here, they just think i'm odd
Nikki: I know
Nikki: you're an immigrant, luckily, so instead of institutionalizing you, they attribute it to culture
#454 12/04/12
miklos: hrm I just took a pushpin from the right side of my cubicle and I was gonna put it on the left side of the cubicle (to the left of my computer) and I dragged my mouse with the intention that I was going to click on the left side panel of my cubicle to bring the panel into focus but it didn't work cuz THE CURSOR BELONGS INSIDE THE COMPUTER..
Nikki: what the hell is happening
#453 11/22/12
Tom: They've engineered these apples so the core is smaller. I can pretty much eat this entire apple.
Miklos: You should.
Tom: No, I'm not a horse.
Miklos: Horses don't eat apples. They eat sugar cubes and hay. Where do you get these apple-eating horses?
Tom: They were imported from Bulgaria.
#452 11/22/12
Nikki: I'm connected to Ben Gunning from the Local Rabbits on LinkedIn now, but I can't view his profile because we don't know anyone in common. pff
Miklos: befriend kevin bacon
Nikki: ohhh good idea
#451 11/22/12
[at 3:49pm]
Miklos: since 3:30pm, 4 hours have passed.
#450 11/19/12
Tom: You know in a year you'll see that guy and he'll have one of these [motions with hands indicating a fat lower torso area]
Nikki: The male 'gunt'?
Tom: Hah! Yes. The male gunt.
Nikki: The 'genis'?
#449 11/09/12
Nikki: seems to repeat itself every 5 years or so
Nikki: victor divorces someone, goes missing, dies, comes back
Nikki: marries another person, divorces them, goes missing, marries someone while missing, goes missing from there and back to genoa city
Nikki: then marries someone, forgetting he never divorced someone
Nikki: usually the first person he had ever married
Nikki: alternate as needed
Curtis: hahahaha you're well in the loop eh?
Nikki: i know a thing or two
Nikki: and one of the wives was blind
Nikki: the one he met while missing. Grace. now everyone go to hell
Curtis: Hope
Nikki: same thing
#448 11/07/12
Miklos: What's at the dollar store?
Nikki: What isn't? You took me on a drive for pig's blood for god's sake, I think you owe me a dollar store run...
#447 10/30/12
Curtis: you were/are/forever will be da man
Miklos: i can live with this
[recorded forever]
#446 10/29/12
[re: Hurricane Sandy]
Miklos: How are kids going to go trick-or-treating?
Nikki: There's two days left. If they put their heads together they can come up with a plan.
#445 10/27/12
[dad misreading things again]
Dad: It said something about it being tabletop or something like that
Miklos: counterfeit you mean?
Dad: yeah, that's it....
#444 10/25/12
miklos: "dress for not where you are but where you want to be"
Nikki: "on a dump run"
#443 10/20/12
Nikki: Miklos later brought up the point that it's my fault dud was there, after all, I introduced him to this artist. I opted to instead blame my friends for introducing me to the artist in 2002... and then further opted to blame him for being born. Just horrible. I know nobody else who such weird things happen to. And it's BECAUSE I said "morning angel" to you yesterday!
Nikki: this isn't rape, you can't invite someone to this
#442 10/12/12
Nikki: I kept having nightmares. Walt [from Breaking Bad] was my dad and he lived separately from my mom in a house that was nice during the day but terrorized by neighbour kids at night and also a mean ghost
Nikki: Ps you should ask your local english major this: is it generally assumed that all ghosts other than casper are mean ghosts thus making what I said redundant and thus the reason he is so specifically named or can ghosts have an in-between personality as well and I've read too much into this?
#441 9/13/12
Nikki: I don't even know how to get toothpaste out of a shirt
Miklos: Water... it's how i get it out of my mouth.
Nikki: [holds shirt up after rinsing it] You're a genius!
#440 8/31/12
Nikki: I am so tired
Nikki: Curtis, what the hell?
Curtis: Whatcha tired from?
Nikki: Being awake
#439 7/20/12
Miklos: Splurge of the week, Iced Mocha Latte, buddy... [waving drink around]
Nathan: ... why did you say it so stupid? Oh! I thought you said "I smoke a lot eh, buddy..."
#438 6/21/12
Nikki: Which one's your triceps? [while doing a Wii Fit workout]
Miklos: Your Bingo-wings.
#437 5/25/12
Nikki: your hands are gross, you should use soap...
Miklos: i use soap frequently
Nikki: you should use it consistently!
#436 5/08/12
Nikki: I thought I'd hate this dog forever, but she's so good now
Miklos: Well she's getting a lot more walks these days.
Nikki: Don't say that word, she's looking at you now
Miklos: I meant Wok ... Wok with Yan?
Miklos: Damn that still sounds the same
Nikki: She doesn't know the difference between W-o-k and w-a-l-k!
#435 5/04/12
Matt: he's great because he can think out of the box
Miklos: into the search box
#434 5/03/12
Curtis: There's a city in nova scotia called Musquodoboit
Curtis: I can't believe how close that is to mosquito bite
Alex: Yeah, it's like someone got bitten in the mouth, then tried to say it as they were asked "So what should we call this town?"
#433 4/27/12
Airport P.A.: Paging passenger Wong
Miklos: Well, that narrows it down!
#432 4/20/12
miklos: lose all the way
alex: I believe the term is "epic fail"
miklos: lose all the way! it's the only logical opposite of win all the way
alex: you mean epic win?
#431 4/11/12
Brian: The reason for my phone call today is I was wondering if I can discuss something with you for about a minute or two, if you can spare 5 minutes.
#430 3/20/12
[peter tells me he will be taking upper-intermediate english lessons]
miklos: soon you'll speak better english than a canadian-born person
peter: i'll be your next president
miklos: we have a prime minister, but even that's too much
miklos: but I wouldn't let you be either
peter: ok, i wouldn't wanna be anyway.. i wouldn't want to argue with the eskimos over how many polar bears they can eat per year
#429 2/08/12
Alex: so, selling your sled for 4 grand, did you turn a profit on it?
Brian: well its tough to say, I would have to bring my folder to double check, but I'd imagine it would be a yes or no.
#428 1/24/12
Lauren: my stove just caught on fire
Lauren: i'm shaking
Curtis: well get over there, it'll warm you up
#427 12/27/11
Lauren: I like my laptop
Lauren: I just hate that it doesn't work
#426 12/14/11
miklos: i see, ok god
miklos: +o
curtis: no god is correct
miklos: you're right, no god is correct
#425 11/23/11
Miklos: Very nice watch, wear it always!
Alex: It needs less links.
Miklos: Really? Fit me good, a bit loose but that's how it should be.
Alex: It needs like 1 link gone, it looks too gangster.
Miklos: How skinny is your wrist?
Alex: 0.95em
#424 11/17/11
Alex: paul just sent me a photo
Alex: he's 2 hours north of toronto
Alex: in a snow storm
Curtis: ah that sucks
Curtis: so what's the photo of?
Alex: the aforementioned subject
Curtis: ahh
#423 11/06/11
[Watching The Untouchables]
Nikki: Ahh, hugging your little girl while holding a gun. Those were the days.
Miklos: Ah, the American dream.
#422 10/27/11
Lauren: hey curtis i have a question
Curtis: yes lauren
Lauren: nevermind
Lauren: i was emailing a resume
Lauren: it asked if i wanted to send them as online documents
Lauren: but then i thought what if their office doesn't have internet access
lauren: so i didn't haha
Curtis: ummmm
Lauren: you never know
Curtis: you know email is part of the internet right?
Lauren: hahaha omg
Lauren: i'm dumb
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