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#493 1/03/14
Curtis: It's minus 17 outside
Miklos: It's minus fucking shit!
#492 1/02/14
Miklos: How am I at 9300 steps already today? Oh right, I was hammering.
Nikki: Why are you wearing that (Fitbit) on your dominant hand anyway? You hammer with it, you write with it. Why not just put it on your non-dominant hand [like they tell you to]? Because [name withheld] made a comment on your watch and Fitbit picture? 'OH NO, don't wear it on your non-dominant hand with your watch! They won't get along! They're going to fight! Your watch is going to cry! It's not modern enough for the Fitbit!' I don't think so. Go away, [name withheld], I don't even know you.
#491 12/25/13
Al: Now if I could just shit...
Miklos: don't worry i've shit for the both of us today
Al: Trying to be as empty as possible so the anesthesia doesn't gum up the pipes too bad
Miklos: i have no advice on shitting
#490 11/12/13
Miklos: You know why our marriage is effortless?
Nikki: Why's that?
Miklos: Because we both make an effort.
Miklos: Except me..
#489 11/03/13
Pircsi: look mom i can multi task. I'm doing two things at once, cooking and playing the piano
Mom: actually you are doing three things
Pircsi: what's the third?
Mom: pissing me off
#488 11/02/13
Miklos: So what happened to the changing of the Canadian anthem thing?
Nikki: Ahh a bunch of scandals happened and then everyone realized that nobody cares.
#487 10/19/13
Miklos: There's gotta be something on PBS worth watching.
Nikki: That's never been said.
#486 10/16/13
Nikki: When people say they'll pray for you... do they really pray for you --
Miklos: Nope.
Nikki: -- or are they just being fuckin' assholes? That's what I think anyway.
#485 9/30/13
3yr old: What is your middle name?
Pircsi: I don't have one.
3yr old: For real life?
Pircsi: Yes. I was born in a country called Hungary. We don't have middle names there.
3yr old (rolling her eyes): Oh geez louise.
#484 9/22/13
Nikki: Lots of things aren't vegan.
Nikki: Do you want to know what's in bagels?
Miklos: What?
Nikki: Bird feathers. It's used as a softening agent.
Miklos: That's not so bad. Who cares, we're all gonna die the same way anyway.. it's not that gross.
Nikki: No, I hate bird feathers!
#483 9/14/13
Nikki: Ugh. You stink.
[Miklos farts loudly again]
Nikki: UGH!! That's it! I'm calling the police!
#482 9/13/13
"A leader is one who does not care about his rank and role but remains always responsive to lead, shoulder responsibility, and achieve the goal in such a way that everyone, in and outside the team, respects him for touching their revered souls." ~Anuj Somany
#481 9/07/13
[Nikki's philosophy on using a Macbook]
Nikki: I hate navigating through Finder on that thing... "and if you swoosh your two hands together, you might be able to navigate to the next screen. But probably not. Because everything's a big fuckin' show...!"
#480 9/01/13
[while talking about bodily differences and 'cycles']
Nikki: I love how men really don't have to deal with anything their whole lives.
Miklos: We have to deal with you.
Nikki: Yeah right. You basically stare off into space your whole lives and at the end you might get butt cancer.
Miklos: But probably not.
#479 8/25/13
Miklos: What's a study?
Nikki: Rich people have offices made of oak and mahogany, and that's what they call a study.
#478 8/16/13
(Overheard random guy at theatre talking to his friend)
Guy: I just tried to spell 'Jesus' and it autocorrected to 'Hernia' how the hell?
#477 7/31/13
Alex: I almost googled "making money while being at work"
Alex: Cuz I figured - well if I'm just sitting here, I might as well think of a way to make money
#476 7/22/13
Curtis: St. Catharines Standard - Kate Middleton is in labour. Follow our live coverage
Curtis: really? society needs a play by play?
Alex: yeah
Alex: I mean, I'm glued to the coverage
Curtis: that's crazy
Alex: well its like, people watch hockey hoping to see fights or watch NASCAR racing hoping to see crashes
Alex: I'm sure people are watching this hoping to see a black baby
#475 7/19/13
Nikki: This queen's stupid. She knights everyone willy-nilly. She knighted Anthony Hopkins a long time ago. She knighted Elton John, she knighted Ben Kingsley...
Miklos: She knighted Furniture Warehouse...
Nikki: No, YOU-nited Furniture Warehouse!
#474 7/12/13
Bob: Who is this Courtney girl you speak of?
Alex: Oh someone we make fun of
Bob: Why do you make fun of her?
Alex: You should start
#473 7/12/13
Alex: They're building a NASCAR racetrack in fort Erie.
Curtis: To replace the horse racetrack?
Alex: Yeah I guess that's the only place it could go. Well there's a lot of open land there too. I guess they could put it anywhere really.
#472 7/09/13
Brian: I've never had a stapler that works for more than 6 months! I know I've had this one for over 2 years but still!
#471 6/29/13
Dad: I'm smelling my bacon because it smells good. I don't wanna eat it because I don't need it.
#470 6/28/13
Nikki: I wish there was a feature in the car that said, "Welcome to the proper side of the road".
Miklos: It'd be called the Saturn Sarcasm.
Nikki: No, it'd be the... Automatic Wife.
#469 6/21/13
[Directed to Curtis after receiving dvds of downloaded tv shows numerous times from him in the past]
Tina: can you download tv shows on your pc?
#468 6/05/13
Nikki: are you reading this? [An informational sign on Flowerpot Island]
Miklos: no, I don't read... but I am taking a picture of it so that I can OCR scan it later and have the computer read it to me.
#467 5/20/13
[after counting down to Niagara Falls fireworks which happened to be synced with the atomic clock (according to Miklos' radio controlled watch)]
Miklos: I love that the falls fireworks were so on time last night
Miklos: Made me look like a damn gemius
#466 5/15/13
(When the opening band walked on stage during a concert)
Curtis: What's this band called?
Lyndsey: The Virgins
(Alex notices the band's appearance)
Alex: Yep, story checks out!
#465 3/29/13
Nikki: When I see those [large posters of people with their mouths open outside of a dental office], I want to take a picture that looks like someone's putting something in their mouth. Not a penis.
#464 3/29/13
Nikki: Hey you know what'd be a good way to freak someone out, if you weren't concerned about animal cruelty?
[long pause]
Miklos: Alright, nice setup... go on...
[long pause]
Nikki: ... put a bird in their car.
#463 2/12/13
[after waiting for cable tech to come all day]
Miklos: Oh look, the tech's out there on the wire.
Nikki: Ah, no!
Miklos: Oh wait, it's just a little squirrel.
[squirrel standing on wire, wiggling its tail]
#462 2/09/13
Nikki: Look at these pictures of these cats.
Nikki: Oh.. this [first] one is the snow outside, looks like a vagina..
Miklos: How?
Nikki: Shut up. Look at this cat picture.
#461 2/01/13
Nikki: people will put anything in anything
#460 1/07/13
[really long honk nextdoor]
Nikki: get out of the way, house!
#459 12/21/12
Alex: I think my sanity had an apocalypse. I just tried to order Wendy's at a Tim Hortons drive thru.
#458 12/21/12
[Facebook friend]: Walking home from Co-op with a granny cart and 3 bags of groceries with no gloves on when its -14 outside.....not my smartest moment. What should have taken 6 minutes to get home ended up taking 45 because I had to keep stopping and putting my hands in my jacket every 5 minutes to warm up. :(
Nikki: Wait, it should've taken 6 minutes... you stopped after 5 minutes... 1 minute left... stopped *brain explosion*
#457 12/19/12
miklos: I'm gonna be 32... that's like.. adult ages.
#456 12/18/12
Nikki: she's so strange
Nikki: then again i've been drawing wolves for 45 minutes
#455 12/12/12
miklos: nobody appreciates my humour here, they just think i'm odd
Nikki: I know
Nikki: you're an immigrant, luckily, so instead of institutionalizing you, they attribute it to culture
#454 12/04/12
miklos: hrm I just took a pushpin from the right side of my cubicle and I was gonna put it on the left side of the cubicle (to the left of my computer) and I dragged my mouse with the intention that I was going to click on the left side panel of my cubicle to bring the panel into focus but it didn't work cuz THE CURSOR BELONGS INSIDE THE COMPUTER..
Nikki: what the hell is happening
#453 11/22/12
Tom: They've engineered these apples so the core is smaller. I can pretty much eat this entire apple.
Miklos: You should.
Tom: No, I'm not a horse.
Miklos: Horses don't eat apples. They eat sugar cubes and hay. Where do you get these apple-eating horses?
Tom: They were imported from Bulgaria.
#452 11/22/12
Nikki: I'm connected to Ben Gunning from the Local Rabbits on LinkedIn now, but I can't view his profile because we don't know anyone in common. pff
Miklos: befriend kevin bacon
Nikki: ohhh good idea
#451 11/22/12
[at 3:49pm]
Miklos: since 3:30pm, 4 hours have passed.
#450 11/19/12
Tom: You know in a year you'll see that guy and he'll have one of these [motions with hands indicating a fat lower torso area]
Nikki: The male 'gunt'?
Tom: Hah! Yes. The male gunt.
Nikki: The 'genis'?
#449 11/09/12
Nikki: seems to repeat itself every 5 years or so
Nikki: victor divorces someone, goes missing, dies, comes back
Nikki: marries another person, divorces them, goes missing, marries someone while missing, goes missing from there and back to genoa city
Nikki: then marries someone, forgetting he never divorced someone
Nikki: usually the first person he had ever married
Nikki: alternate as needed
Curtis: hahahaha you're well in the loop eh?
Nikki: i know a thing or two
Nikki: and one of the wives was blind
Nikki: the one he met while missing. Grace. now everyone go to hell
Curtis: Hope
Nikki: same thing
#448 11/07/12
Miklos: What's at the dollar store?
Nikki: What isn't? You took me on a drive for pig's blood for god's sake, I think you owe me a dollar store run...
#447 10/30/12
Curtis: you were/are/forever will be da man
Miklos: i can live with this
[recorded forever]
#446 10/29/12
[re: Hurricane Sandy]
Miklos: How are kids going to go trick-or-treating?
Nikki: There's two days left. If they put their heads together they can come up with a plan.
#445 10/27/12
[dad misreading things again]
Dad: It said something about it being tabletop or something like that
Miklos: counterfeit you mean?
Dad: yeah, that's it....
#444 10/25/12
miklos: "dress for not where you are but where you want to be"
Nikki: "on a dump run"
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