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#537 9/13/14
[Reading Mansion House sign]
Nikki: Ooh, "The Captain is coming"!
Miklos: What about Tennille?
Nikki: I don't know what that is.
Miklos: What? Captain and Tennille. Am I that old?
Nikki: Well, it finally happened. You referenced something that's too old for me to understand.
#536 9/11/14
Curtis: So my landlord decided that I needed a new fridge, so I just got an upgraded one tonight with a lot more space.
Pearl: Oh nice, so when do you move?
Curtis: ....what?
Pearl: Wait, what?
#535 9/06/14
Miklos: What year is this movie from? 1997? That's... 25 years!
Nikki: No it isn't. Not by any kind of math, anyway.
#534 9/03/14
[pointing at a mole on her jawline]
Nikki: Has this always been there?
Miklos: I've never seen it.
Nikki: Really? It just showed up? Is it cancer?
Miklos: It's not cancer. It's been there forever.
#533 8/28/14
[While Alex and Miklos are talking to each other, Curtis thinks he hears his name which didn't actually happen]
Curtis: Hmm? What are you talking about?
[They fill him in on the subject]
Curtis: Ah, so how am I involved in this?
Miklos: ......you interjected yourself into the conversation
#532 8/26/14
Nikki: [talking to the TV] Your credit card didn't go through because you spend too much money...
Miklos: [looking at phone] No, it's because I couldn't remember my PIN because I haven't used it in so long.
Nikki: Not you, the girl on TV.
Miklos: [still not paying attention] Ohh, me.
Nikki: NO, NOT you. The girl on TV!
#531 8/26/14
Pearl: There's two birds hanging out on that tree.
Alex: Where's the one stone?
#530 8/19/14
Miklos: How many people googled Rod Iron and then clicked images and then swore never to tell anyone? Come on now, be honest.
#529 8/05/14
[Miklos making breakfast in the kitchen, Nikki feeding Johnny in the living room]
Nikki: Is pee ok, spider?
Miklos: What??
Nikki: Is pee ok, spider? In your native language.
Miklos: Oh! P-o-k! Yeah that's spider... I would've never guessed what the hell you were talking about if you didn't say "native language".
#528 8/04/14
Nikki: There's something called No-Nails. It's good for wiggly bannisters and stuff.
Miklos: Is it like a tape?
Nikki: No, it's like a caulk ...
[Realizes what that sounded like]
Both: ........
#527 8/04/14
Nikki: Did you know an aneurysm can just happen at any time? We could be talking right now and one of us could have an aneurysm and end up dead.
[Miklos, sipping from a glass, dribbles milk onto his shirt]
Nikki: Whoops...
Miklos: Looks like I'm well on my way.
Nikki: That was more of a stroke.
#526 7/31/14
[Jessica puts her arm around Alex, just after he rolled over in his sleep]
Alex: [complaining] Mm Mm
Jessica: What?
Alex: Mm Mm
Jessica: What's wrong?
Alex: You asked me if I ever jousted.
Jessica: Haha. Are you on drugs?
Alex: I guess you didn't.
#525 7/22/14
Alex: Is today Wednesday or Thursday?
Jessica: It's Tuesday..
Alex: So, it's neither?
#524 7/13/14
Pearl: Look!! (points to bird on overhead wire)
Curtis: What is it?
Pearl: It's a HAWWWK!
Curtis: Ahhh (continues driving passed it)
Pearl: ............
Pearl: ............
Pearl: ............why aren't we turning around?
Curtis: Oh. Will it still be there?
Pearl: Well it won't be if we keep driving away from it.
#523 7/10/14
miklos: [on dating a nerd] Once you go slacks, you never go back.
#522 7/04/14
Nikki: Why do guys scratch their balls and then sniff their hands?
Miklos: I don't know? That's how monkeys do it.
Nikki: Like what are you gonna do based on the smells? "Ok.. I gotta now go make lunch..." or "This tells me that 2 days ago I had cabbage."
#521 7/03/14
Alex: I got injured today.
Alex: I got hit in the head. You know, with that elastic rope thing you use to tie things down on the truck.
Jessica: Bungee cord.
Alex: *laughs* Yeah that one.
Alex: Maybe me getting hit in the head messed up my vision.
#520 6/29/14
Marnie: Rexall is weird
Curtis: Weird how?
Marnie: I dunno. It's not Shoppers
#519 6/15/14
Pearl: Sometimes I can't tell if it's me talking or the radio
#518 6/15/14
(When talking about being in an area where there are always foxes)
Pearl: I thought I saw a fox over there last time we were here, but then I convinced myself that it was probably nothing and my mind just made me think it was a fox
Curtis: If there is movement around these parts, it's probably a fox
Pearl: Or it could be a toyota
Pearl: I mean coyote
#517 6/04/14
Nikki: Vegans don't eat honey because it exploits bees. I officially think vegans are enormous idiots.
#516 6/01/14
Nikki: I have a sunburn on my wrist even though I was wearing a watch.
Miklos: I have the opposite.
Nikki: A moonburn?
#515 5/09/14
Miklos: Pogacsa's all gone. Marek ate most of it.
Nikki: Do they have pogacsa in Poland?
Miklos: I don't think so.
Nikki: Really? They love potatoes. By that I mean that I've seen one war-time movie where all they had to eat was potatoes.
#514 5/08/14
Curtis: We did it already
Alex: But I didn't explode
(Clearly referencing a request to fist bump)
#513 4/09/14
[Entering the living room after a nap, noticing]
Nik: You still have tea! Probably ice tea by now.
Miklos: Room tea
Nik: Soon it will be emp-tea.
#512 4/03/14
Nikki: In the war of carnivores vs. vegans, the carnivores just eat the vegans.
#511 4/03/14
Brian: He's very cheap it seems.. BUT he's not afraid to spend money it seems
#510 3/31/14
Alex: That guy looks like a buffoon! And I've never used the word buffoon, but that man is a buffoon!
#509 3/29/14
Pearl: Keep driving.. a little farther.. okay this is it.. wait no I lied.. okay slow down.. nope just kidding that's not it.. okay I think we may have passed it by now
Curtis: [While driving passed another house] Is that it? It looks abandoned
Pearl: Oops that was actually the second house I was looking for.
Curtis: So want me to turn around?
Pearl: Naw it's snowing so it's in the past.
(A day in the life of photography with Pearl)
#508 3/29/14
Alex: A straw just went up my throat.
Pearl: I think things go down your throat, not up.
Alex: Shut up, Pearl! I just deep throated a straw!
#507 3/20/14
(while driving past the Little Caesar's sign-swinging guy currently moving the sign like a steering wheel)
Miklos: [in a sad fading voice] "I'm driving you awaaayy..."
#506 3/18/14
Nikki: Just do it. Don't be a pussy.
Nikki: ... I don't use that word. Now I've tried it once, it doesn't work.
#505 3/18/14
Alex: I'm a modern day Romeo! I say it like it is and I fuck like I can't!
Jessica: Wait- what?
#503 3/18/14
(While approaching Jess with a bent straw)
Alex: Come here! Come here! I just want to put this up your nose!
#502 3/18/14
Jessica: My foot itches.
Alex: Welcome to my world.
Jessica: Why? Your foot itches?
Alex: Constantly.
Jessica: It does?
Alex: Well...not right now.
Jessica: That makes no sense.
Alex: It doesn't in a logical sense, but in a physiological sense...
#501 3/18/14
(After Pearl points out a ton of ducks in the Niagara River)
Curtis: Whoa, that's a shit load of things that flock
#500 3/18/14
Jessica: I had a nightmare.
Alex: :(
Jessica: I was preparing Bruce Willis for his funeral and he came back to life. And that's creepy no matter how much he obviously wasn't dead in the first place.
Alex: I guess he didn't die hard enough.
#499 3/09/14
Alex: Oh my god I love that house!
Alex: Wait nevermind, I just saw a for sale sign and got excited.
#498 2/07/14
(While discussing car license plate sticker renewals and hydro bills)
Curtis: when you get notified just treat it as a bill you gotta pay
Curtis: nevermind the deadline that's so far away
Curtis: and if even your hydro bill is that high, fuck im dreading getting mine
Alex: wlol easy there poet
Curtis: wlol didn't even notice
#497 2/05/14
Miklos: that guy [down the street] has a hook for a hand
Nikki: do you think he's crazy?
Miklos: he's got a hook for a hand! He could've chosen something that looks like a hand... but he chose a hook!
#496 2/05/14
Miklos: the dogs smell like bugles
#495 1/22/14
Alex: Contestant on [american] idol introduces herself Cindy Alderbridge. Dads like "What? Sitting on the bridge?"
#494 1/08/14
Nikki: I need as much sushi and pregnancy prejudice based on sushi-consumption as I can get in before birthing this baby
#493 1/03/14
Curtis: It's minus 17 outside
Miklos: It's minus fucking shit!
#492 1/02/14
Miklos: How am I at 9300 steps already today? Oh right, I was hammering.
Nikki: Why are you wearing that (Fitbit) on your dominant hand anyway? You hammer with it, you write with it. Why not just put it on your non-dominant hand [like they tell you to]? Because [name withheld] made a comment on your watch and Fitbit picture? 'OH NO, don't wear it on your non-dominant hand with your watch! They won't get along! They're going to fight! Your watch is going to cry! It's not modern enough for the Fitbit!' I don't think so. Go away, [name withheld], I don't even know you.
#491 12/25/13
Al: Now if I could just shit...
Miklos: don't worry i've shit for the both of us today
Al: Trying to be as empty as possible so the anesthesia doesn't gum up the pipes too bad
Miklos: i have no advice on shitting
#490 11/12/13
Miklos: You know why our marriage is effortless?
Nikki: Why's that?
Miklos: Because we both make an effort.
Miklos: Except me..
#489 11/03/13
Pircsi: look mom i can multi task. I'm doing two things at once, cooking and playing the piano
Mom: actually you are doing three things
Pircsi: what's the third?
Mom: pissing me off
#488 11/02/13
Miklos: So what happened to the changing of the Canadian anthem thing?
Nikki: Ahh a bunch of scandals happened and then everyone realized that nobody cares.
#487 10/19/13
Miklos: There's gotta be something on PBS worth watching.
Nikki: That's never been said.
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