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#166 12/08/07
Carl: There should be a rule for your quotes page. You should have to be able to repeat it and see if it's still funny before you put it up.
#165 11/28/07
Peter: I bought a newspaper this morning
Peter: I wanted to read something while I was on the bus
Peter: And there was an article in there about some Chinese explorer
Peter: there were some Chines ones too, just not as famous as for example Columbus or Magellan...
Peter: the one that is featured in the article is called Zeng He
Peter: http://www.semarang.nl/chinees-jpg/boot.gif
Peter: this photo is interesting
Peter: the black ship is Colombus' ship
Peter: the white one is the Chinese
Peter: 80 years before Colombus, he sailed around India and surroundings, all the way to Africa
Peter: http://www.semarang.nl/chinees-jpg/map-chengho.gif
Miklos: hmm
Miklos: it would've been awesome living in those days
Miklos: discovering all sorts of shit...
Peter: you can't even go 3 days without photoshop...
#164 11/28/07
Miklos: I'm going to make it a point to travel to a different country every year starting next year. Maybe I'll start with Africa.
[Fully aware that miklos needs paperwork in order to get into USA, sarcastically]:
Matt: Why don't you start with the States?
#158 11/23/07
Tom: Americans celebrate Thanksgiving in November because of something to do with harvest and God or something...
Tom: Plymouth rock...
Miklos: What's Plymouth rock?
Tom: You know, Plymouth rock.. the Pilgrims.. early settlers... There were a-hundred-and-something of them and a year later it was like 60 or something, because they died...
Tom: Christopher Columbus, etc.. You know?
Tom: They were supposed to land somewhere in Georgia but they missed their course.
Miklos: And ended up in Canada?
Tom: No.. Plymouth rock.. haha.. yeah.. it's in California!
Tom: Don't you know your geography/history man?
Miklos: I wasn't born here. I just came here and started feeding off the land.
Tom: Heathen.
#157 11/23/07
Dave: i just had a crazy nose bleed
Dave: still holding a kleenex to my nose
Miklos: were you picking at it?
Dave: no, i was just sittging here
Dave: sitting
Miklos: weird
Dave: and i felt you
Dave: you = it
Miklos: hahah
Miklos: freudian slip?
#156 11/21/07
Joanne: well, who really has the time to be talking on MSN at work??
#154 11/08/07
Miklos: You know what one thing is that irritates me about this place?
Miklos: Elevator chat.
#153 11/08/07
[In the elevator, Matt standing in one corner, Miklos in the other. Gord gets in on the 3rd floor]
Gord: Ok, who's driving?
Miklos (without hesitation): I AM!
[Matt, closer to the buttons, quietly presses it to close the door]
Miklos: Oh, I guess he took over...
#152 11/06/07
Carol: John is taking his Access finals tonight, and is wondering if you'd know where a course on Sequence might be offered?
Miklos: I've not heard of "Sequence" ... do you mean SQL (often times mispronounced as "SEQUEL")?
#151 11/05/07
john: i can see you're striving to make sense
#149 10/26/07
Brian: WHY
Brian: in photoshop, do i have to go over the pixels several times to color something from white to a color?
#148 10/26/07
alex: and I tell [my dog] peanut my deepest secrets that I sometimes have to get off my chest..
alex: she's so attentive, always looks into my eyes when i'm talking to her
alex: i also KNOW she can't tell anyone.. it's great
#147 10/26/07
Guy on phone: Hi.. can i speak to a "Mikolosh Bashhco"?
Alex: He's actually at work.
Guy on phone: Then can i speak to a "Sandor Bashhco"?
Alex: Him you're speaking to...
Guy on phone: Oh hello, I was just calling to see if you would consider voting for the conservative party in the next federal election?
Alex: When is the next federal election?
Guy on phone: We are considering sometime in the springtime to have a federal election.
Alex: Okay I will consider it I just have to see what my schedule is like.
Guy on phone: Okay, do you think that Stephen Harper and the Conservative Party are on the right track?
Alex: I don't really follow politics so I couldn't tell you.
Guy on phone: So you still live at [insert address here]?
Alex: Yes.
Guy on phone: Thank you for your time, have a good day.
(Political mafia coming to get us!?)
#146 10/25/07
john: it's like conspiracy shit man
john: i can't get enough... it's more entertaining than anything else on the web
john: some of it is very thought provoking and that's the most entertaining... but a lot is just crazy stuff... at the root of most of it are money making schemes
john: books, conferences, web sites with ads, guest speaking etc
john: it's like professional wrestling except more people think it's real
#145 10/23/07
Curtis: well the sum 41 finger 11 concert was just cancelled
Alex: damnit, guess the numbers didn't add up
#144 10/23/07
dave: i'm going to call up oxford or websters and tell them that I have an addition to the definition of spontaneous..... YOU
#143 10/17/07
Brian: I have a host with my website hoster with mysql on it. i tried to get the mail listings on it and i prob fucked up their end with the database setup cause i have no clue what i'm doing.
#142 10/17/07
Dave: You know what pisses me off?
Miklos: What's that
Dave: how on god's green earth do "older" men consistently miss the fucking urinal??? honestly, how do you miss a urinal? you practically stick yourself right in there! but somehow people still piss all over the floor and all over the wall... it is disgusting... why am I pissed off??? because of 3 main reasons. 1. it looks like shit 2. it smells even worse, and 3. I have to make sure that my laces and pant legs aren't remotely close to touching the ground. *end of rant*
#141 10/15/07
[Miklos throws a punch in the air and makes some stupid noises]
Miklos: Did you see that?
Miklos: That was a side-cut, not to be confused with an upper-cut.
Dave: You mean a "hook"?
#140 10/10/07
Miklos: I can't believe you called me bull-headed.
Dave: I called you bull-headed AND dumb
Dave: Come to think of it, I called you bull-headed twice this week.
Dave: You should be happy, I don't call many people bull-headed.
Dave: No, actually, just you.
#139 10/09/07
... about a year and a half ago
Alex: Where's the 9??? (Frantically confused while handling a phone)
Miklos: Go back to your cubicle, where things make sense...
... now, about a year and a half later
Alex (randomly): I hate passlock
Miklos (randomly): where's the 9?
Alex: above the 6
Miklos: apparently you still don't know
Dave: set a reminder in outlook to try again (next year)
#138 10/09/07
Dave: Want a piece of my dental gum?
Dave: It tastes good and also whitens your teeth.
Miklos: Sure, if it'll help get this cashew out.
Dave: Maybe, but if it does anything, it'll turn the cashew white.
Miklos: We're not eating PAINT!
#137 10/04/07
Tim Riley: your php work inspires me!
Tim Riley: I will be doing php in my new job
miklos: haha
miklos: YOURs inspired ME
Tim Riley: it's a cycle!!
miklos: yep
miklos: it's a try/catch 22
#136 10/01/07
miklos: teletubbies
Peter: that's good
Peter: bbc's best program
miklos: "agaaaaiiiinnnn"
Peter: hm?
miklos: isn't that what they always say?
Peter: i don't know
miklos: doesn't matter
Peter: i've only seen it once
Peter: when a vacuum cleaner chased one of them around
Peter: and for me that was enough to not want to watch it anymore...
#135 9/26/07
Alex: man the most amazing thing happened to me last night
Alex: the lighning crashed down like RIGHT BESIDE me
Miklos: right on
Alex: man not right on
Alex: this was like.. amazing
Alex: i felt like i was in that movie powder
Alex: white balding guy, playing with lightning
#134 9/25/07
Miklos: I got gas this morning...
Jeff (backing away): Ah geez!
Miklos: NO! For my car! Anyway... it overflowed!
#131 9/20/07
miklos: you should order 2 sets of dumbbells - 2 x 60 and 2 x 70
baxo: umm
baxo: maybe when i have a job
miklos: there ya go
miklos: cherish that optimism, sanyi
#130 9/18/07
john: if you'd apply yourself you'd probably have vast deep knowledge of some important topic like say... physics OR you might speak like 12 languages
john: but instead you know how to build gimmicky web junk
john: i applaud you sir
john: /golfclap
miklos: up yours
#129 9/17/07
(Miklos fighting marketing devil that was presenting the new all-in-one iMac on Apple's site)
Miklos: Wow.. I want one.. *pause* Man.. I'm stupid. I gotta close this site down. I don't want nothing.
(Miklos: 1, Devil: 2940385)
#128 9/17/07
Matt: Are you even looking for a job?
Alex: I have job. It's called being lazy. Doesn't pay well, but the benefits are great.
#127 9/17/07
Miklos: AFTER washing dishes!
Alex: who's to say that's not already done?
Miklos: me
Alex: damn you good
#126 9/14/07
Dave: You are on Miklos' quotes page
Jenna: Really, about what?
Dave: Yeah, the conversation we had about your blind turtle.
*Dave reads the quote to Jenna, and starts to laugh*
Jenna: It really isn't funny, would you still laugh if I said I had to put Emerald down?
Dave: You did?
Jenna: Not quite... I told you how we got rid of them
Dave: How?
Jenna: We sold them at a garage sale.
*Dave with more laughter*
Jenna: I'm glad that I can provide entertainment for you.
#118 9/13/07
(Side note: accounting printer, water cooler and entrance to washrooms are all within about 5 feet of each other.)
Miklos: Check out what I found by the accounting printer
Matt: A pen?
Miklos: Yeah, it's nice.. Try it..
Matt: I don't want to.
Some time passes, I'd say about 10-15 minutes... Matt goes to the washroom, and after coming back:
Matt: Where did you find that pen?
Miklos: By the accounting printer.. why?
Matt: What were you doing there?
Miklos: I don't know.. oh! Refilling my water bottle. .. Hrm.. where IS my water bottle?
(Matt laughing)
Miklos: Shit! I left it there. Man, I didn't even use the washroom.
Matt: So you just went to get bottle refilled, got distracted by something shiny, put the bottle down on the cooler, forgot about it and came back?
Miklos: Yeah and I guess I just kept working...
#117 9/13/07
Dave: my little story takes place at a tropical villa
Dave: i fell in love with a flavour, yes it was vanilla
Dave: miiiiiiinnnnnnnniiiiiiiiii wheats wheats wheats i wanted vanilla for so long
Dave: mini wheats wheats, wheats, it's high in fiber you can't go wrong
Dave: vanilla flavour mixed with wheat put it together it can't be beat
Dave: vanilla flavour mixed with wheat tastes so good, what a treat
Dave: new vanilla mini wheats cereal!!!
Dave: tastes so good good good!
Dave: good advertisement like that actually works
Miklos: are you saying it does work?
Dave: yeah, definitely, do you want mini wheats after reading my jingle
Dave: ?
Miklos: as a matter of fact, yes.
#115 9/11/07
Miklos: Hi, I picked up the iMac this morning, the one that was having the power issues?
Mac Outpost: Yep...
Miklos: Well now I noticed that when I eject the CD, it doesn't let it out gently, it spits it out entirely...
Mac Outpost: Yeah that's the problem with those things... sometimes they're too powerful.
Miklos: So.. what can I do then?
Mac Outpost: I dunno... Catch it?
#113 9/10/07
Peter: And you know what I'm going to make with your flash?
Miklos: Pictures?
Peter: A career.
#107 8/31/07
Tom: Hey Dave, You'll never guess what I'm doing this weekend.
Dave: What?
Tom: Well, I'm going to our CIO's Barbeque!
Dave: You have got to be shitting me.
Tom: No, I'm serious, I JUST found out that my wife works with his wife and that is how I got invited.
Dave: Sounds like you finally got a shot at management.
Tom: Yep, I'm going to cook him up a hot dog and maybe he'll be like "wow this guy has potential."
Dave: The only way that a person in his position will see potential in someone for a management would be if you completely screwed up. My advise is to burn the shit out of the hot dog and hand it to him... actually, you said CIO right?
Tom: heh, yeah.
Dave: Then you would get farther handing him a piece of cut up garden hose and calling that a hot dog! Now, that is management material.
#106 8/23/07
miklos: what about all the permalinks out there that linked to orbit dailyphotos?
john: they won't work
john: thankfully
miklos: haha
john: yeah i got some emails recently asking me where they could find a bunch of stupid crap
miklos: are you mad at the world john?
john: 'i was told to come to this site for blah blah blah, do you know how i can reach this info blah blah?'
john: no just foreign weirdos that are trying to find out how to make long exposures or homemade lenses
john: dude i used to have like 5-10 stupid emails a day asking me questions i've already answered to people
john: i have a [shitty point and shoot camera], when i go out and take pictures at night they're all grainy and don't turn out how do you keep your shutter open so long
john: my camera only goes to 30 seconds
john: how do you create those film borders in photoshop can you send me the action?
john: how do you make your grain look so real in photoshop?
john: i tried to use the grain filter but it doesn't look the same
john: what scanner do you use
john: how are you scanning your borders with the film
john: what tripod do you recommend
miklos: so you got annoyed with the world :)
john: i have an old [insert old 70s 35mm slr here] and i'd like to shoot film, what film is the best?
miklos: i asked you all those questions, fucker
john: LOL
miklos: except the photoshop action to get film borders
miklos: can you send me them?
john: you wouldn't believe how many people think i add those in photoshop... i get emails about that a lot
john: people are stupid
john: i don't even respond
#105 8/22/07
Dave: It drives me nuts how these so called adults (people over 30) are all into facebook and talk about it like little teenie-boppers. "I added you to my favourites".... facebook is actually a virtual frat club.
Miklos: everyone and their brother is on facebook
Dave: I'm not, are you?
Miklos: no
#103 8/16/07
Alex: miklos
Alex: grab me
...
Alex: Harry Potter - Order of the Phoenix
Miklos: Oh, the enter key was a semicolon...
Miklos: and not a period
#102 8/10/07
Peter: A not so tiny spider, climbed up my table's leg
Peter: Then came me, and smashed the spider's head
Peter: The spider screamed, but I don't really care,
Peter: It's my room, so it shouldn't be there
#101 8/10/07
miklos: man, on the way home from the island i took the 407
miklos: and i got the bill for it today
miklos: $17.28 ... $11.38 - toll charges, $3.55 - video toll charge, $2.35 - account fee
miklos: first off
miklos: I didn't ask them to take a video photo of me
miklos: secondly, i didn't ask them to put me in their stupid database
dave: that is bullshit
miklos: for 67km of highway use
miklos: i accept charges for using the highway
miklos: but the technology they use to track me to send me my bill should be free of charge, and not come out of my pocket ...
dave: i'm surprised that it didn't say.... 59cents for the stamp... 25 cents for the envelope... 10 cents for the paper and 5 cents for the ink... and a folding/licking fee
dave: hehe this is like a bad mastercard commercial
dave: and being fucked in the ass for using a provincial highway that originally took tax dollars to build: priceless
dave: there's some things money can't buy.... for everything else...
#100 8/10/07
miklos: I JUST SAW SOMETHING NEAT
miklos: 5 jets in the sky
miklos: spelling out
miklos: GREAT RATES - GEICO.COM
miklos: i got some pics, one sec...
miklos: haha man that was neat. it got the entire department looking, and i almost fell out of the window from the 4th floor trying to take a picture
miklos: i sent it to the tribune
dave: keep it up
dave: you might get a job
miklos: dave your sarcasm cuts deep
miklos: scars me for life
dave: that wasn't sarcasm... I was referring to risking your life for a picture... i guess you have a social esteem issue
#99 8/10/07
miklos: you've been daghed
miklos: oooh a web 2.0 catch phrase
miklos: of my own
miklos: *heart*
alec: daghed. the opposite of digged
miklos: yeah... there you go...
miklos: at the one end of the spectrum, people seem to care.. at the other... not so much
#98 8/10/07
miklos: this site has some sexy code behind it
alec: yeah?
miklos: yeah object oriented
miklos: which means "plug and play" modules
alec: um. yeah.
alec: All my subheads for this nursing migration annual report have to follow a theme of global credibility.
miklos: hmm
alec: ZACKly
alec: so is that the object oriented whoozie whatsit you're talking about?
miklos: say what?
alec: huh?
alec: is this thing on?
alec: HELLO...HELLO...Testing 123.
miklos: object oriented to a webpage is like dead silence to a copywriter. only the opposite...
#97 8/10/07
Dave: jesus!
Dave: that is stupid
Dave: stupid crazy
Miklos: This world is hilarious
Dave: I don't know if you have taken a step forward or a step backward... mainly because the world is fucking stupid... everywhere you go, everywhere you look there is idiots, even in commercials (the manufacturers aim towards lower IQ individuals) because they are the majority. I used to find it hilarious, now it irritates me like a plague...
Miklos: idiocracy
Dave: exactly
Dave: it is true though... just watch the commercials
Dave: and you know what the really bad part is?
Miklos: i don't watch tv
Miklos: what's that
Dave: canada is actually above average
Dave: which means, other countries are like the cats in the clip you just sent me
Miklos: nah man you're just growing up
Dave: yeah we have... when will everyone else?
#96 8/09/07
(Landfill was closed, alternately Alex and Paul randomly threw wood off the truck on some back roads...)
Paul: The best solution to pollution is dilution.
#48 8/01/07
Alex: wtf
Alex: why is mom and dad's phone busy
Alex: who could they possibly be on the phone with
Miklos: anyone
Alex: haha
Miklos: what a silly question
Alex: i guess it was wasn't it
#46 7/31/07
Jenna: Yeah, I had a turtle once, but she went blind
*Dave starts to laugh*
Jenna: What are you laughing at, it isn't funny
Dave: It was probably how you said it... So, how did you know that it went blind?
Jenna: Well, SHE wouldn't eat her food, she would just swim into it.
*Dave starts laughing again*
Jenna: And my brother's turtle was getting fat because he was eating my turtle's food.
*Dave still laughing*
Jenna: Why must you laugh at ALL of my previous pets?
#42 7/30/07
Miklos: I helped Dave get his boat license... Do you want yours? I'm in the mood to give.
Matt: Alright, get out your credit card, let's do it, if you're really in the mood to give.
Miklos: Umm... Not that much.
Matt: So when you said you're in the mood to give you meant...
Miklos: Take.